


For Once I Want To Be The Car Crash

by Loor



Category: British Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Chatty Man, F/M, First Meetings, Friends With Benefits, Male-Female Friendship, Movie Premiere, Rumors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 09:24:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3524075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loor/pseuds/Loor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For once I want to be the car crash<br/>Not always just the traffic jam<br/>Hit me hard enough to wake me<br/>And lead me wild to your dark roads<br/>- Headlight on dark roads, Snow Patrol</p><p>When Sophie meets Tom Hiddleston by chance one day, her life will be changed forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started as my NaNoWriMo project in 2013. I never reached 50k, but more than a year later 29k are written and edited and ready to be posted.

“Hello love, I’d like to have a…”

“Sorry sir, but you are going to have to wait your turn.”

“Can’t you make an exception for once?”

Sophie slowly lowered the book she was reading, just enough to look over it. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but she couldn’t help herself. The words at the counter got her interest. And when she recognized the man standing there, pleading with the barista, her book was forgotten all of a sudden. Instead, her full attention was on the scene unfolding at the counter.

“I’m sorry sir, but you are going to have to wait your turn.” 

The barista repeated her statement, arguing with the customer in a polite manner. But Sophie could tell that her stance was crumbling. Katherine, as the girl was named, was her friend. They had known each other since they were both in diapers and they knew everything about each other. They knew which books the other one was currently reading and what they liked and disliked about being at university. They talked about what movie they had last watched and discussed every detail about their latest crush. You name it, they had talked about it. 

So when Sophie recognized the man as Tom Hiddleston, she knew that Katherine had trouble focusing. Chances are that she had forgotten about the world around her. And she wouldn't be able to focus on whatever arguments she usually had in store for annoying customers.

And Tom wasn’t making it any easier on her. She watched him place his hand gently on top of Katherine’s where it was lying on the counter. At the same time he shot her a bright toothy smile. “I’m sorry to be bothering you like this, love,” he pleaded. “But I definitely would appreciate it if you can let me skip my turn just this once. You see, I have an appointment shortly, so I’m in quite a hurry and … I’m sorry, is there anything you would like to add to the conversation?”

Sophie’s eyes grew big when Tom all of a sudden whipped his head around to address her. A blush immediately colored her cheeks as she realized why he seemed annoyed with her. His piercing gaze left her speechless for a moment. When she found her tongue again, she almost started apologizing. Almost. Because she locked eyes with Katherine when she opened her mouth to speak. In a flash she remembered of a promise made long ago. To always help each other out, no matter what. So, determined to stand her ground and stick up for Katherine, she said, “I didn’t mean to laugh out loud. It’s just… Well, that’s the most pathetic excuse ever, don’t you think? I’m in a hurry. Like all these other people don’t have places to go and people to meet.”

And just like that, the annoyed stare disappeared. In a flash, as if it had never really been there. Tom shot her the same bright smile he had given Katherine just moments ago. “Oh, I’m sure they do. But this meeting I’m having is very important. I just hoped that maybe because…”

He was working his boyish charm on her. But Sophie didn’t fall for it. “What, because you have a famous face you figured that people should jump on the spot for you? Not going to happen, pretty boy,” she interrupted him.

The offensive way the words left her mouth caused Sophie to cringe internally. It seemed like Tom’s presence had a strange effect on her brain-mouth filter. She nervously bit her lip while she gauged Tom’s reaction. Much to her relief, he didn’t look mad or annoyed. But at the same time he didn’t look particularly happy about it either. For a moment she figured he was indifferent to the opinion of a stranger like herself. But then she realized he just looked surprised. Like he was not used to people speaking up to him. It caused her to wonder how many people were normally hanging on his lips, breathing in his every word.

It was only when Katherine coughed rather loudly, that Sophie realized that the entire bakery had gone silent. All the customers and staff were staring at her. She felt awkward and out of place all of a sudden. She hated being the center of attention and at this moment she wished she would just be swallowed by the floor. 

Thank god for Katherine, her wonderful friend. Before things got a chance to get any more awkward, she turned to the woman in front of her, asking. “Right, worry about that ma’am. How can I help you this afternoon?”

And just like that, the whole store seemed to come back to life again. Sophie barely noticed it. Her eyes were on Tom again and he was still staring back at her. They were caught in their own little world for a few moments. Him still at the counter and her at a nearby table. 

In the end, Tom was the one to break eye contact. Sophie kept watching to see what his next move would be. With the way he had behaved just minutes ago, she almost expected his ego to play up again. She was willing to bet he was either going to demand Katherine’s attention again or walk out the door empty-handed. 

It surprised Sophie that he didn’t cause anymore drama. Instead, he retreated in silence. All the way to the end of the line. Even though it had gotten longer since the beginning of his little cry for attention, as Sophie called it in her mind. The perfect polite gentleman, just as the world knew him.

Now that the excitement had died down, Sophie’s attention shifted to the book in her hands again. She only got to read a couple of pages before a person sat down in the chair next to hers. Without averting her eyes from her book, she knew it was him. The famous actor felt the need to make his presence known again. “Hi darling, would you mind if I take this seat?” he questioned.

Sophie waited a moment to see what his next move would be. After his previous behavior, it surprised her that he seemed to be patiently waiting for her to answer her question. 

She gave him an honest answer without averting her eyes from her book. “I wouldn’t mind.” In the same breath she added, “But I can imagine a few other people that would. Since you are supposed to go to this big ass important meeting.”

“Not sugarcoating anything, I like that.” Sophie could almost hear the smile in his voice. A small screech could be heard as Tom pulled back the chair he had been holding with one hand and took a seat across from Sophie. “Let me let you in on a secret, darling. I lied.”

Tom’s words definitely caught Sophie’s attention enough to make her look up from her book. She didn’t say anything, just raised her eyebrow in a questioning motion.

“I have nowhere to be today,” Tom confessed with an easy shrug. “I’m not here for work. Just a holiday, I have all the time in the world.”

“Then why all the fuss?”

Sophie had to bite her lip to contain the smile that was threatening to form on her lips. She couldn’t help it, it just happened as the blush appeared on Tom’s face. She hadn’t expected him to be embarrassed easily. 

Tom stared at the steaming hot cup of tea in his hands when he spoke again. “Sometimes I forget. It’s like ever since Thor came out people recognize me anywhere. And at set people seem to jump at my every move. So sometimes I’m having a bad day and I want a nice cuppa and expect people to get that for me. And I’ll forget that not everybody knows how I am. Or cares, for that matter.” 

“Oh, Kat knows who you are,” Sophie said with a glance towards the counter. Katherine shot her a smile and winked. “And she cares. But she also cares about her job. That is why she did what is customary in those kinds of situations: she told you to bugger off in the most polite way possible.”

The words caused Tom to laugh out loud. That laugh that Sophie knew many fan girls swooned over. And as he sat here in front of her, she had no problem understanding why they did.

“How about you?”

“What about me?”

“Well, it is obvious that know who I am. But do you care as well?”

“Meh, not that much I guess,” Sophie told him with a shrug. She did her best to sound as casual as possible. “I mean, I’ve seen Thor and I liked you in War Horse. But those are just two movies. You need more than two good performances to become a star in my book.”

“Fair enough, fair enough.” Tom nodded. “But enough about me. How about you, darling, what brings you here, to this bakery shop when it’s such a beautiful day outside?”

“It’s cozy here. Familiar. I spend half of my childhood here. Kat's parents own this place. We used to come here every day after school and try to help her mom with the baking. Try being the keyword there.” The joke earned another laugh from Tom. Sophie let out a chuckle herself, thinking back to all the afternoons she spend there as a child. “So yeah, I like it here, even if it’s such a wonderful day outside. I don’t have any classes at Uni on Thursday, so I like to come here in the afternoon to relax and spend some time with Kat. Also, my shift starts in 30 minutes and I like to be on time. I like to warm up with a nice cup of coffee.”

“Ah, I see. So that means that you wouldn’t have time to show me around town a bit?” Tom inquired.

The question caught Sophie by surprise. She choked a bit on her drink and only just managed to get out a strangled “What?” in between coughs.

Tom patiently waited until she had collected herself again. “Well, I’m here for the week and I was hoping to find someone to show me around town a bit.”

“Why me?” Sophie blurted out her response. Having Tom around really wasn’t healthy for her brain-mouth filter.

Tom smiled at her in response. “You intrigue me,” he confessed. “I’d like to spend some more time with you.”

The look he gave her made Sophie’s heart do a double take. She didn’t understand it; she had never been much of a fan girl. She liked actors for their acting skills, not their looks. Yet the way Tom looked at her, as if he genuinely wanted to find out more about her, it made her heart speed up. 

As calmly as possible, she answered, “Tell you what. I need to be at Uni tomorrow, but I’m free in the early afternoon. If you’re up for it, I’ll show you around then.”

“Sounds like a date,” Tom agreed with a smile. Sophie tried her hardest not to blush at his words.


	2. Chapter 2

“And so we meet again, my darling. I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist me for long.”

Sophie whipped her head around the moment she registered the words. The voice was so distinct, she would recognize it anywhere. Especially after their conversation that afternoon. She mirrored Tom’s smile, but could barely contain her laughter. “More like the other way around. I have a reason to be here, since I live here. So that would make it you following me around.” 

It was clear that her words took Tom by surprise. “What do you mean, you live here?” he questioned. Curiosity was obvious in his voice.

“Just what I’m saying. It isn’t that hard to understand, is it?” she teased him. When the frown stayed on Tom’s face, she added, “My parents own this place. That’s why I spend so many time at Kat’s place, my parents were always busy with cooking and cleaning and entertaining the guests. Our house has always been open to all kinds of people. But that door with private at the end of the hallway,” she said while nodding her head in the direction of a door behind her. “That’s the door to the top floor. Our private quarters. With my bedroom.”

Sophie wasn’t sure why she felt the need to add that last bit. Why did she feel the need to emphasis this to a virtual stranger? But before she could give it much thought a voice came from behind her. “Who is this, Tom?”

Sophie watched as a slight blush colored Tom’s cheeks. He looked as if someone caught him doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. “This… this is Sophie, love,” he managed. Sophie didn’t miss the slight hesitation. “I met her this afternoon. She is the girl that will be showing us around town tomorrow.” He turned to Sophie, motioning to the girl that was now standing next to him. “Sophie, this is my girlfriend Lily.”

“Your… girlfriend,” Sophie responded slowly. She tried to catch Tom’s gaze, but it seemed like he refused to look at her. Eventually she went on, “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Lily.”

“Yeah yeah, I’m sure it is.” The young woman didn’t even bother pretending she was interested in Sophie. She simply put her arm around Tom’s waist, and with a pout she asked him, “Can we go eat now, Tom? I’m starving.” Sophie was almost surprised she didn’t bat her eyelashes at him.

“Sure, sweetheart.” 

When Tom finally looked at Sophie again, there was still a blush on his cheeks. But this time it seemed to be because of a misplaced sense of shame at his girlfriend’s behavior. “Nice to see you again, Sophie. We’ll see you tomorrow, right?” His voice was almost pleading, as if he was worried that she not wants to show him around anymore now that she knew Lily was coming as well. 

“Yeah… Sure, tomorrow.” Sophie mumbled her response. She wasn’t really listening to Tom anymore, instead paying attention to the girl next to him. Lily was full on glaring at Sophie. It was obvious that she was trying to make it clear to Sophie that Tom was taken. And that she wouldn’t let Sophie steal her man. 

When the pair left, Lily released her tight grip on Tom’s waist. Her fingers linked together with Tom’s in the next moment. Sophie didn’t miss the smirk and the glance over her shoulder in Sophie’s direction. It caused Sophie to sigh. They seemed to fit together perfectly. And as they walked through the front door, laughing at something Tom had said, Sophie realized that Lily had nothing to be afraid of. They were happy together. And Sophie cursed herself in silence. She wondered where she ever got the idea that Tom had asked her to show him around because he wanted to be alone with her. It was obvious he was only interested in the town, not in the girl he had asked as a guide. 

Sophie hadn’t been in a good mood when she had gone to bed that night and the next day did nothing to improve her mood. She overslept and was late for her morning shift in the baker’s shop. The entire morning was a rush of impatient and rude customers. Her classes were boring and seemed to go on forever. During the second one she got into a long argument with the professor and in the end she had to admit she was wrong. And to top everything off, rain had finally reached England again after a week of sunshine. In her rush to get ready that morning she had forgotten to pack an umbrella and she got soaked head to toe on the way to her car after classes. 

By the time she was supposed to meet Tom and Lily, she just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep forever. Or a nice cup of tea seemed like a great idea as well. The last thing she wanted to do was show the couple around town. She was especially not looking forward to meeting Lily again. The woman hadn’t even acknowledged her greeting when they had passed each other in the hall that morning. 

However, Sophie was known to be a stubborn girl, one who rarely broke her promises. Her mind kept wandering to hot showers and steaming beverages, but she was still waiting at the entrance of the B&B at 6 in the afternoon. Just as she had agreed on with Tom. 

Needless to say, she was surprised when Tom showed up alone. She had never expected Lily to leave his side. Especially not if that meant leaving him alone with Sophie. Not after the way she had behaved last night. Tom explained that Lily was not interested in history at all and had only agreed upon this sightseeing to please Tom. She had opted out at the last moment and decided that she rather spend the evening watching TV in their room. Sophie wasn’t complaining. In fact, she realized maybe this day wouldn’t end up being so bad after all. 

-X-

“So tell me, what brings you to my little town?” Sophie questioned Tom while they made their way to the Banbury Cross, one of the few touristy places in town. "I mean, there's not that much to see here in Banbury."

“Shakespeare.”

“Shakespeare?” The answer couldn’t have surprised Sophie more. “You do realize that you Stratford-Upon-Avon is just half an hour from here, right?” she said in reference to the famous writer’s place of birth.

Tom laughed at her surprised response. The sound made Sophie realize she really, really liked that laugh of his. It wasn’t faked, like many people in showbiz seemed to do these days. It was easy, open and honest.

“I know that,” Tom confessed with ease. “I’m planning a visit there in one of the following days. I just didn’t want to stay in the town itself, since it is pretty touristy. I appear to have a face that is pretty well-known these days, but I wanted to spend this week of vacation with at least some peace and quiet. So I looked for a nice place to stay out of town, but also not too far away. Lucky for me, I was at the BBC not too long ago and bumped into David Tennant.”

“Ah, David. That other modern day Shakespeare fanboy.” Things all of a sudden made a lot more sense to Sophie. David and his family had stayed at the B&B a few times over the past few years. They had ended up in Banbury for the same reason as Tom had mentioned. The town attracted a lot less tourists than the surrounding cities. Most people stayed in Stratford itself, or combined their visit with a stay in Birmingham. Banbury was quiet. And even during his Doctor Who period, David had been able to walk the streets without getting bothered too much. 

“Yes, that other fanboy,” Tom agreed with a smile. “We somehow ended up talking about Shakespeare and he gave me the address. Told me that if I ever wanted to visit Stratford-Upon-Avon, your parents’ B&B was the place to stay.”

“Well, I’ll be sure to thank him for the recommendation if I see him again!”

“Yeah, you do that. And if you ever want a tour guide in London, remember that I’m at your service!”

This time it was Tom that caused Sophie to laugh out loud. “I’m sure you are. It’s not like you have anything better to do, right? But sure, I’ll keep that in mind. If I ever have more than just a few hours of free time, I’ll insist on that tour of London.”

“People are often exaggerating when they complain they don’t have enough time. But it really isn’t an exaggeration for you, is it? By the sound of it, I should be glad that I managed to borrow a moment of your valuable time.” Tom didn’t sound sarcastic, he seemed genuinely curious about her story. 

Sophie shrugged. She had never given her way of living much thought. She had always been a busy bee, that was just who she was. “I can’t sit still very well I guess,” she agreed. An easy smile graced her lips. “I like to spend time with my family and friends. And if that means working in the bakery and helping my parents out at the B&B between classes at Oxford, then so be it.” 

“Oxford? I lived there when I was a teenager. Well, when I wasn’t at Eton at least. What are you studying?”

“Molecular chemistry.”

“Oh, a brainiac!” Tom teased her with a laugh.

The reaction caused him another shrug from Sophie. “Once you get the hang of it, it isn’t that hard. I always find it to be a bit like cooking: you follow a recipe and put different things together to create something new.”

“Huh,” Tom seemed genuinely surprised. “I never looked at it that way. That does make sense I guess.”

“Of course it makes sense, coming from a brainiac!” Sophie shot his previous words back to him with a laugh.

As they continued their walk, Tom continued to ask questions. Sophie returned questions with just as much curiosity. The evening progressed without a dull moment; there was never an uncomfortable silence. By the time they made it back to the B&B, the sun had long disappeared behind the horizon. Yet it seemed like only minutes had passed, instead of hours. After they said goodbye, Sophie realized that she had really enjoyed spending some of her precious free time with Tom. And that this day hadn’t been so bad after all.


	3. Chapter 3

In the next days, Sophie and Tom really hit it off. Somehow Sophie found herself spending every moment of free time she had with Tom. She took him to the small Banbury museum and showed him around Tooley’s boatyard. She even accompanied him to Stratford-Upon-Avon, when Lily decided to spend the afternoon at the small pool of the B&B instead of soaking up some history. 

Sophie couldn’t say it had surprised her. Lily never seemed interested in anything Tom wanted to do. She didn’t care for history. She worried that pastries Tom bought at the bakery shop contained too much carbs. And she didn’t do anything except lying around all day. So Tom and Sophie spend hours walking the streets of Banbury, just to two of them.

Tom enjoyed the fact he could stroll the streets without attracting too much attention to himself. He had taken to popping into the bakery shop during Sophie’s shifts. The first few times he apologized for taking up her time, worried that she was bothered by his presence at her work. But Sophie didn’t mind at all. She enjoyed his company and even found herself longing for it. She looked forward to the quiet moments in the bakery when customers would come in far apart and it was just the two of them. Talking, joking and laughing.

Even though she met Tom only a week ago, it felt like they had known each other forever. Talking to Tom felt like talking to a child sometimes. In a good way though. Because he never stopped asking questions. He wanted to know everything about Sophie and he paid attention to ever little detail. Every answer she gave led to another question from him. By the end of the week he knew her almost as well as Kat did. Yet somehow Sophie felt scared that he would get bored. With every little detail she revealed about herself, she worried he would run off. But he never did. 

Still, she was a little surprised when he asked her to dinner on his last day in town. She couldn’t help but wonder if Lily knew about this. And if so, how she felt about it. She didn’t bother asking though, since she figured this would be her last time seeing Tom. So she didn't hesitate to accept to his invitation.

Tom insisted on choosing the restaurant, claiming he had gotten to know the city quite well during his stay. Sophie didn’t object, but almost regretted that decision when he texted her to wear a nice dress and heels for the evening.

They ended up at the only Italian restaurant in town. Sophie had been there a few times when she was younger, but not since the place had been redecorated. It looked like a completely different place and she felt pleasantly surprised. Tom couldn’t help but laugh when he wanted to help her to her seat. She was so busy staring at her surroundings that she failed to notice.

Their waiter was an enthusiastic Italian guy. The first thing he said was, “Hello, I’m Giovanni, your waiter for tonight. Can I get the lovebirds something to drink to get started?”

Sophie immediately blushed scarlet red. She started muttering and tried to deny the waiter’s implications. Before she could get very far, however, Tom stopped her by placing his hand on hers. He looked at her for a moment; Sophie assumed it was to make sure she was okay. Then he turned to the waiter and told him with a smile, “We are not a couple. We’re just friends. And some of your finest red wine would be lovely.”

The waiter stared at their hands on the table. For a moment it looked as if he was going to argue with Tom. He managed to swallow his words at the last second, instead replying, “I’m sorry, sir. I saw you walk around town this week and I just assumed. I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry.”

Tom nodded to let him know the apology was accepted. The waiter let out a visible sigh of relief and was quick to add, “One bottle of red wine coming up. I’ll be right back to take your order.”

Sophie watched as the young man walked away and knew his words would be stuck in her head for most of the evening. Just like Tom’s hand seemed to be stuck on top of hers until they needed both hands to eat. Not that Sophie minded.

The rest of their dinner went by uneventful. They enjoyed the delicious Italian food the restaurant served and tasted some of the finest wine. Sophie was quite full already, but she couldn’t resist dessert. The tiramisu that was on display in the counter just looked too delicious to pass up on. 

Her tastebuds were not disappointed. While she enjoyed the heavenly taste of the homemade dessert on her tongue, she could feel Tom looking at her. He didn’t bother to hide it either, because when she looked up he was staring straight at him. She quirked one eyebrow in question. “What?”

“You fascinate me, love.”

Sophie almost choked on her dessert when he spoke. “Excuse me?” she managed to get out between coughs.

Tom smiled and handed her a glass of water before elaborating a bit. “I can’t explain it. There’s just something about you. You just fascinate me, love.”

Sophie wanted to say something. Anything. She wasn’t one for being speechless, but that’s what Tom caused her to be. She wanted to react and assure him she wasn’t all that special. She felt she should tell Tom that he was just as fascinating, if not more. And that she had a wonderful time this week. But she just couldn’t get it out.

And before she had a chance to find the right words, Tom was standing next to her, offering her his hand. “Dance with me,” he kindly insisted.

She wasn’t sure whether it was the atmosphere in the restaurant, the wine that lowered her limits or maybe just Tom. But she couldn’t say no. Again, she couldn’t say anything. She just accepted his offer with a smile and placed her hand in his.

Soon she found herself on the small black and white checkered dance floor in the corner of the room. Thanks to the candlelight and the jazz music, it felt almost as a scene from one of those old romantic black and white movies. Or a fairytale, she thought as she swayed around in Tom’s arms. Her eyes seemed to fall closed automatically.

When she opened her eyes again after a while, she realized that people were staring. They were not the only couple that was on the dance floor, but Sophie could tell the looks were all aimed in their direction. She could almost hear the whispered conversations over the music. It seemed like they were all gossiping.

All of a sudden an image of Lily flashed through her mind. She hadn’t thought about her the entire evening. But here, in Tom’s arms with everybody staring at them, it was as if she suddenly remembered her again. And she couldn’t help but wonder how this would look to Lily, how this would make her feel. She wondered whether she should ask Tom about her. If he was sure she didn’t mind him going to dinner with another woman. 

But she didn’t get to actually ask the questions going through her mind. Because just as she opened her mouth, she could feel Tom’s warm breath on her ear. He started to sing along to the song that was playing and whispered the words in her ear. And just like that Sophie stopped caring about Lily. She wasn’t going to let the girl ruin a perfect evening. She just closed her eyes again, losing herself in the sound of Tom’s voice and the feeling of his arms on her back.

When they decided to go home, it felt like another scene from a movie. The sun had long ago set behind the horizon, but the dark didn’t bother Sophie. She even insisted taking the scenic route, as she called it. Small roads without any street lights and only illuminated by the bright moonlight. It would take them longer, but it was a nice night and neither seemed to be bothered by the longer distance. So they walked, fingers linked together. Talking beneath and the starry sky. Giggling due to a mixture of wine and an amazing evening.

When they made it back to the B&B, Tom, being the gentleman that he is, insisted on escorting Sophie to her room. Or at least to that door marked ‘Private’, where their roads would separate for the night. Of course, he couldn’t help but tease her about how he was making sure she wouldn’t end up a damsel in distress. It caused them both to get a fit of giggles, even though they tried their hardest to be silent and not wake anybody.

The laughter died down when they reached the door where their paths would separate. Sophie looked up at Tom to find him smiling down at her. For a reason she couldn’t explain, it made her blush. She knew he probably couldn’t see it in the dark, but she still tried to hide it, quickly saying, “So uhm… Thank you. Thank you for a wonderful evening, Tom. I really had a great time.”

“No, thank you! For a wonderful evening, and even more so: for an amazing week. I had an amazing time. And it was so very great to meet you.”

There was a sudden silence that hung between them. It should have felt awkward, but it didn’t. Strange at the most, since in the past week there never had been a dull moment. But not awkward. 

They were staring at each other. In that moment Sophie’s entire world seemed to exist of Tom’s piercing blue-green eyes. Only somewhere in the back of her mind it did register that Tom was inching closer.

She snapped out of it when she felt her back hit a wall. Trapped. Or at least that’s what it should feel like, she thought. But again, it didn’t. If anything, Sophie felt excitement at Tom’s closeness. 

She hadn’t noticed it moments ago, but now she didn’t miss the hunger in Tom’s eyes as he continued to stare at her. She could feel Tom’s breath on her lips. He was so close. Only one more inch and they would be touching. And just as she thought she wasn’t able to stand the suspense any longer, just when she was about to lean in and close the distance between their lips herself, there was a thump in the distance. The sound made them both jump.

The next moment Tom had one hand in his curls and he was quietly and quickly speaking. Muttering as if the words were meant for only him to hear. “I... I shouldn’t. You are too young. This is wrong. The distance is too big. I can’t do this.” Sophie wondered if he even realized he was talking out loud.

She also didn’t fail to notice that the hand not nervously combing through his curls was still linked with hers. It trapped her hand above her head. She wanted to calm him down, assure him everything was okay. But when she tried to move their locked hands, he reacted as to a bee sting. His hand was immediately withdrawn and he stared at her as if he only then realized that she was still standing there with him.

And then he was walking off, leaving Sophie feeling more than a little lost. She watched him round the corner, never looking back at her. She stared into the empty hallway for a few seconds. She needed a moment to catch her breath and had to try her hardest to keep her knees from buckling. Then she had to think about Lily all of a sudden. And she wondered if Tom had thought about her as well this evening.

She didn’t get a chance to ask him. Without classes at Oxford or a shift at the bakery shop, she slept in late the next morning. Tom was gone by the time she woke up. It did sting a bit that he didn’t bother with goodbyes.

She tried her hardest to forget what happened that last night. Cherish the nice moments, forget about the bad. She managed pretty well, until weeks later, longer after he had left the village. A tabloid reported that he separated from his girlfriend. Her parents gushed over how sad it was because they made such a nice pair. But she couldn’t help but wonder if that night had anything to do with it. If she had anything to do with it.


	4. Chapter 4

Sophie thought that last, wonderful yet confusing night would be the last she would ever see of Tom Hiddleston in person. She couldn’t have been more wrong. He became a regular visitor in the B&B. In the two years that followed Tom stayed with Sophie’s family several times. Tom always claimed that he liked to be close to Shakespeare’s hometown to feel inspired. But Sophie knew him better than that. Without her asking or him telling her, she knew that most of all, he enjoyed the peace and quiet that he got in Banbury. While Tom’s fame grew day after day, the attention he got in Banbury didn’t. People seemed to be used to Tom Hiddleston wondering their streets every now and then. So Tom got to wonder around undisturbed and relax. 

Things had been awkward the first time he came to the B&B again. Sophie hadn’t been sure how she should behave around him, so she had avoided him at first. But Tom had always been and would always be a talker. That’s why on the second day of his stay he had cornered her on her way home from the bakery shop. He had insisted that they talked. Sophie had been weary at first, but had agreed in the end. So they had talked. And talked. And talked some more. 

About simple things at first. About how, even though London would always be his home, Tom had definitely missed the quiet streets of Banbury. About how he had had dreams about the delicious coffee they served at the bakery show. And slowly they had progressed to more serious conversation. To the part that Sophie had been dreading. Tom had talked about Lily and about how he had realized she wasn’t the girl for him. And eventually he had mentioned that one night that they both had known the conversation had been heading towards.

“I just couldn’t go through with it,” he had said. “Not even because of Lily, she wasn’t even on my mind at the time. But because you’re still young and you have this super busy life. Especially since you just stared working on your graduate degree. And I’m always away for my job. It hit me right as that sound brought us both back to reality. If I wanted to do that with you, I wanted it all. And I realized that we couldn’t have that, so I stopped before anything could happen.”

“Sure, sure,” Sophie had answered. She did her best to stay casual about it. “You are absolutely right. I completely understand,” she had said, even though she didn’t really.

And that had been that. Sophie had known she shouldn’t start an argument she could never win. She had known Tom was probably right, even though she didn’t see things that way. So she had smiled, nodded in agreement, and pushed any feelings that weren’t friendship to the back of her mind.

As time passed, Sophie learned to give a place to her feelings towards Tom. He had made it clear that he wanted nothing more than to be friends and she respected that. She had realized that she’d rather be just friends with Tom than not have him in her life at all. So she would just sigh at her TV or computer screen every time she heard him talk about love in interviews. And she would just smile whenever her mom pointed out that he always came alone when he visited. 

And as time passed Sophie managed to almost forget she ever might have seen Tom as something else than one of her best friends. Because that was what he had become over time. A friend who she could confide in, who could make her laugh and who she could call in the middle of the night if she wanted to. They texted all the time and talked to each other on Skype whenever Tom was in a convenient time zone. But Sophie longed for the days where he would come to visit and the moments when she could literally feel his closeness. The days when they spend hours laughing together, joking and having fun. Serious late night talks and early morning coffees.

It was always just the two of them. And she tried not to let it get to her, but yet she couldn’t help but notice that her mom, as most of the time, was right. Aside from that very first time with Lily, he always came alone. Sophie liked to think of it as his little secret. Like he wasn’t willing to share these moments they had together with the world just yet.

He always came alone, until one time he didn’t. 

Two years had passed since Tom’s first visit and Sophie had moved to a small apartment in Oxford. Closer to Uni, to be able to focus on her education better. She still came home almost every weekend though. She missed Katherine too much to stay away. And she liked to help out her parents, usually putting the baking skills she had picked up over the years to good use.

When she came home one weekend, she noticed a booking on Tom’s name. She was ecstatic at first, but her heart dropped when she noticed that he had booked a double room. Tom had been on a press tour the past month, all over the world in all kinds of different time zones, and she hadn’t talked to him much. She had no idea he would be coming over and she couldn’t help but wonder who that other person would be. She didn’t get a chance to talk to him that weekend either and thoughts about a girlfriend haunted her for two days.

The next week, however, her schedule was loaded with classes and labs and unexpected assignments. She was so busy that she somehow managed to completely forget about Tom’s visit. She went home that weekend stressed out by her course load. With a head full of assignments she needed to finish and questions she had for her supervisor. Tom was the last thing on her mind.

It was because of the hectic state her life was in that she found herself in the kitchen that Friday night. She had tried meditation and yoga classes, but over the years she had learned that only one thing that would calm her down. Baking. She had always loved to spend hours in Kat’s mom’s kitchen when she was younger. Just so she could watch the woman rush around and make the most delicious creations. And as she grew older, she would pick up the whiskers herself. Trying and failing and trying again, until she had found the perfect recipe. And then start over with something completely different. She forgot the world around her when she baked and all stress would disappear.

So it was no surprise that one could find her crouched in front of the dishwasher. She was trying to find a space to put that last bowl she had used for the cookie batter. She was lost in her own head, only coming back to reality when a voice sounded behind her. “Jesus! I guess there’s a reason why they keep this one is in the kitchen!”

The voice caught her by surprise. She almost dropped that bowl that she was putting in the dishwasher. She didn’t turn around immediately, taking a moment to catch her breath.

“Tom! Don’t say such things!”

“Oh, come on, look at her! Don’t be such a spoilsport, Ben. Besides, I don’t think she even heard us.”

Sophie couldn’t help but smile, hearing the voices behind her. It was obvious Tom didn’t mean what he was saying. Even without seeing his face, Sophie could tell he was having a lot of fun fooling his friend. Who was, if Sophie was not mistaken in the sound of that voice, none other than Benedict Cumberbatch. Relief ran through her when she realized that Tom wasn’t bringing a girlfriend this time. He was not here alone because he had a good friend with him. 

After a few moments, Sophie decided to move. If she stayed like this any longer, it would be awkward. So she slowly got up. She turned around to find both Tom and Benedict staring at her. Tom had a small smirk playing around his lips. But it was Ben’s face that was the funniest. He looked so worried. Sophie could almost hear him wonder whether she had heard their conversation.

When Sophie and Tom both stayed silent, Ben had no choice but to speak up. “Hi. I’m Benedict. Benedict Cumberbatch. Sorry that we are bothering you this late,” he said. He spoke slowly. Almost as if he wasn’t sure she could understand him. 

From the corner of her eye Sophie could see the smirk on Tom’s face grow bigger. She could tell that he had trouble not snorting out loud. Benedict didn’t notice though, he only had eyes for her. Sophie felt kind of sorry for him, but she couldn’t help herself. She decided to play along with Tom. Slowly, just as he had spoken, she answered, “Hi, Benedict Cumberbatch. I’m Sophie. Sophie Scott. It’s nice to meet you. And your impolite friend.” With a smile, she offered her hand to Benedict.

Benedict’s cheeks burned scarlet when he realized the implication of her words. “Oh, so you did hear us. I’m sorry about that. About Tom being such a jerk. He’s an absolute idiot sometimes,” he quickly apologized. Then he reached for Sophie’s outstretched hand, shaking it firmly.

“Ah, so it is true what they say,” Sophie answered with her smile was still in place. But she would rather be biting her lip right now, as she had quite a hard time to keep from bursting out laughing.

“And what would that be?” Benedict asked in return.

“Well, they always say that London boys are the true British gentleman,” Sophie easily explained. “Of course,” she added with a nod in Tom’s direction, “I guess there are exceptions to every rule.”

Her statement caused Ben to start apologizing again. “I am sorry about what he said. I’m sure he didn’t mean to be impolite. He’s just tired and…” He stopped mid-sentence, turning to Tom. The latter was biting his lip, only just managing to keep from laughing. Benedict didn’t seem to notice and urged him on, “Maybe you have something to add, Tom? You’ve been so quiet the last few minutes. Doesn't seem like you at all.”

Tom impressed Sophie. She could tell he could only just manage, but he did manage to answer with a straight face, proving once again that he was indeed a great actor. “I thought you weren’t living here anymore. You lied to me?”

Benedict quirked an eyebrow at Tom’s words. He opened his mouth, probably to question his friend, but Sophie stepped in before he could say anything. She knew that if she didn’t react now, she would be able to contain her laughter any longer. “I didn’t lie. I don’t live here anymore,” she quickly said. “But I do still try to come home during the weekends.”

Sophie had always thought of Benedict as someone who always had something clever to add to any conversation. Yet now their words left him speechless. He just stood there, flabbergasted and confused, looking back and forth between the two of them.

Sophie tried her best to keep a straight face, but when she finally made eye contact with Tom for longer than a second, they both lost it. They couldn’t hold in their laughter any longer. The sound of happiness rumbled through the kitchen. It only seemed to grow stronger every time they looked at Benedict, who still didn’t seem to understand what was going on. 

When they managed to calm down a bit, they embraced each other in a tight hug. “I guess this saves me from having to take a trip to good old Oxford to come and visit you. It’s so good to see you again,” Tom said. 

“Likewise, Tom, likewise. It’s been way too long,” Sophie responded in agreement.

“Wait, so you to know each other?” Benedict’s confused voice caused another fit of giggles to fill the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

Right after Tom and Benedict arrived, they spend their days spend relaxing. Tom and Sophie showed Benedict the most interesting places in and around Banbury. Luck was on his side, because Sophie had a week off from Oxford and plenty of time to spend with them. The men were already in Banbury four days when Sophie and Tom got a moment alone. It was just the two of them sitting in the garden of the B&B. It was getting colder over the past few days, but the water of the pool was still nice enough to have their feet dangling in it. The weather and the settling darkness caused the garden to be deserted. 

Sophie didn’t mind the solitude. She enjoyed having Tom to herself for some time. Especially since she had heard so little from him the past few weeks. It was great to get a chance to catch up on things. Yet she couldn’t help but wonder out loud, “Did I say something wrong to Benedict?” She shifted to look at Tom and find a more comfortable sitting position.

The question seemed to surprise Tom. He had been staring of in the distance, but now turned to look at Sophie, quirking an eyebrow at her. “Of course not, darling. Why would you think that?” 

“Because he has been avoiding me all day. He didn't a word to me all morning. And when I asked him this afternoon if he wanted some company on his trip to Stratford-Upon-Avon he almost yelled at me that ‘no, no, he wanted to go alone!’” 

It was Sophie’s turn to quirk an eyebrow now, as Tom started laughing out loud. “That’s so not funny, Tom!” she told him as she hit his arm.

“It kind of is,” Tom disagreed. He let out another giggle and explained, “Because you always drawing premature conclusions. First you think that I’ll be here with a girlfriend because I booked a double room.” Tom recounted how Sophie had warily explained her extreme happiness to see Benedict the night the men had arrived.

“That is a totally valid thought. What was I supposed to think?”

“That I would have told you I was seeing someone. But okay, fair enough, I’ll give you that,” Tom let the interruption slide. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re worrying over nothing. He isn’t trying to avoid you. He only declined your offer because I asked him to, you goof! It’s nice that you get a chance to meet Ben and get to know him. And I like that two of my best friends are getting along so well. But I wanted you to myself for a while.”

A small blush crept onto Sophie’s cheeks. She wasn’t sure if it was because of her misjudgment of Benedict’s behavior or because of Tom’s confession. Probably a bit of both. “Oh,” she stuttered out. “Oh. Well then, remind me to thank Benedict later. Because it is definitely nice to spend some time with you again. It had been too long.”

Tom sighed in response. Sophie could hear the frustration leaking through. She felt bad for bringing it up, until he spoke and she realized that the frustration wasn’t aimed at her, but at the general situation. “I’m sorry, darling. I know I haven’t been available much lately. But you know how it is. This promo tour for Thor 2 has been keeping me really busy.”

“I know, I know,” Sophie assured him. “It’s just… we haven’t talked much lately and I…” She stopped talking for a moment. She weighed her words, making sure she wouldn’t give of the wrong impression. She squirmed in place a little while trying to come up with the right words. She opted for finishing her sentence with a simple, “I just missed you.”

The next moment, Tom had pulled her close in a hug. “I’ve missed you too, darling. So much. That’s why I asked Ben to leave us alone for the day.” Sophie did her best not to stop the shivers from running down her back at the feeling of Tom so close. The velvet sound of his voice breathing in her ear also didn't make thing easy. Needless to say, she failed.

The pair sat locked in their hug for a while. The only sound came from Sophie’s feet splashing water around. They were just enjoying each other’s company.

It was Tom who broke the silence after a while. He broke out of the hug and leaned back a bit so that he could look at Sophie. “Now, are you going to tell me what is bugging you or do I have to drag it out of you?”

“What is that supposed to mean? Do I look like something is bugging me?”

“You’ve been squirming ever since we came out into the yard,” Tom pointed out. “It’s good to at least hear that you enjoy my company. Because the way you can’t sit still for more than a few minutes made me wonder if you’d rather be somewhere else.”

Sophie only barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Of course Tom would think that. It was one of the things that kept surprising her about him. He came across so confident in interviews. Yet in his private life, he always looked for reassurance. Even after all these years, it still seemed that he was scared that Sophie would suddenly stop caring about him. He really should know better by now.

Knowing very well about Tom’s constant search for approval, Sophie managed to keep her face in check. She didn’t mention it, instead she explained, “It’s my back and my neck. I think I have been hanging over my bench in the lab too much. Or maybe it’s because I’m always in the same position at my desk to arrange my notes and write that paper I’ve been working on. It feels like everything is blocked and every muscle hurts.”

“Stress,” Tom said. And before Sophie realized what was going on, he was shifting. Until he was sitting behind her, with her in between his legs. And his hands were her shoulders, with his thumbs pushing tightly at her muscles. “Let me take care of that for you,” he said before Sophie could ask what was going on. “Stress is never good. But I’m sure it’s nothing a good massage can’t take care of.”

Sophie didn’t say anything, even though she had trouble biting back a pleased moan when Tom’s hands started moving. She just closed her eyes while Tom worked on untying the knots in her back. If he wanted to put his skilled hands to work, she wasn’t about to complain. On the contrary. 

For a while, it felt like time stood still. Like nothing was moving in the world around them. For some blissful moments it seemed like all there was, all there ever would be, were Tom’s hands on her shoulders and Sophie’s shallow breaths filling the space around them. 

The world seemed perfect, but the spell was broken all too soon. Reality crashed down around them when a moan did escape Sophie’s lips. She obviously hadn’t made a conscious decision to let the sound out, but it did anyway. All of a sudden she was very grateful that it was dark already, so Tom couldn’t see how her cheeks turned a dark red. Although with his closeness, there was always a chance that he could feel the heat radiating from them. 

Sophie knew Tom had heard it. The whole B&B had probably heard it. But, being the polite and charming gentleman that he always was, he didn’t say anything about it. Sophie didn’t miss his shark intake of breath as soon as the sound had left her lips, but his hands kept moving. They were slowly making their way to Sophie’s lower back. She had to bite her lip to hold back another moan and embarrass herself further. Tom clearly knew exactly what he was doing here. Sophie made a mental note to ask later on where he had picked up these skills.

Sophie didn’t dare mention her outburst. And aside from the sudden intake of breath, Tom too seemed determined to act like nothing happened. Silence fell between them again while Sophie continued to enjoy Tom’s handiwork. 

Slow, calming, quiet breaths caused her heart rate to slowly go back to normal. That was, until out of nowhere a pair of lips attached itself to her neck, leaving little feathery kisses. The sudden assault made Sophie jump in surprise. It was a silly reaction, given how she felt about Tom, but her first instinct was to scramble away from Tom. His hands, however, were firmly on her back, keeping her in place between his legs.

And then, as suddenly as it had started, Tom’s lips were gone again. Detached from her neck and whispering apologies in her ear. “I’m sorry!” was all Sophie could make out at first. Tom was talking at top speed, almost tumbling over his own words. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help myself. I got carried away,” she managed to gather from his mouth after a while.

While he talked, his grip loosened and Sophie managed to turn around in his lap. Her hand found its way to his cheek, with her thumb stroking the rosy skin as he continued to babble. “Stop apologizing,” she whispered.

Her words caused Tom to stop mid sentence. He stared at her in surprise, as if he had expected her to get angry at him. ‘He really should know better,’ she thought to herself.

She stared back at Tom for a few long moments, while her thumb continued caressing his cheek. Her eyes searched his, to make sure that he wanted this too. To ensure herself that she wasn’t the only one who had just felt a shimmer of hope. Who had realized that this moment had been waiting to happen for far too long. 

She saw something in Tom’s eyes that made her hold back. Doubt maybe, or worry about where this would lead them. So Sophie waited. She didn’t attack Tom’s lips, she didn’t whisper something flirty or sexy in his ear. She just sat there in his lap, waiting. Patiently waiting until Tom was ready to either break the spell or to ravish her with his lips.

Much to Sophie’s delight, the latter turned out to be true. Because after what felt like eternity in Sophie’s mind, Tom’s eyes changed. No longer doubting the situation. All Sophie could read in them now was hunger.

And then Tom’s lips finally did what she had silently wanted them to do for years. And when they finally locked with hers, Sophie's hormones decided to take control. All caution was out the window. She was willing to put it all on the line now. All the wonderful days she had with Tom, the pleasant memories they made together. Tom was her one of her best friends, she reasoned. He would never hurt her. She kissed him back just as hungrily as his lips were attacking hers. “Maybe it’s time that I finally show you that bedroom of mine, don’t you think?” she managed to mumble against his lips in between kisses.

If Tom still had any doubts or worries lingering in his mouth, he sure managed to hide them well. He didn’t need to be told twice about going up to Sophie’s room. He did his best to scramble up without breaking the kiss. His position was awkward and he almost immediately lost his balance. It was only because Sophie grabbed a handful of the front of his shirt that he managed to not tumble into the pool. 

Tom’s stumbling caused them to finally break the kiss and look at each other again. The moment they made eye contact and the silliness of the situation hit them, they both started giggling. Giggles turned into laughter and that became so loud that at one point Sophie’s mom stuck her head through the kitchen window. With a smile in her voice she asked them if everything was alright.

Sophie turned her head in the direction of the house and yelled, “We’re fine! We’re totally fine!” before turning to Tom again. “So, what do you think? Shall we take this party to my room?”

With a smile still playing on his lips, Tom answered, “I’d like that very much.” He got up, slowly this time, and offered Sophie a hand to help her get up, which she gladly accepted. 

Tom kept a hold of her hand as they walked to the house and linked their fingers together. It reminded Sophie of that first last evening when they had walked home from the restaurant. When something might have happened if Tom had stopped thinking rationally. She prayed that this would not be a repeat of that night. It hit her almost immediately that he had already kissed her, so this was already much better than that night.

They calmly made their way into the house, neither saying anything. They both waved goodnight when Sophie’s mom appeared in the doorway of the kitchen as they passed. The knowing smile on her lips told Sophie that she hadn’t missed the fact that their fingers were linked together. But she refrained from commenting on it.

Things changed again as soon as Sophie had closed the door of her room behind her. Suddenly she was pressed up against the wall, with Tom feverishly attacking her collar bone with his lips. It earned him a loud moan and Sophie thanked god both her parents were downstairs and all the walls were pretty soundproof.

Soon, however, she couldn’t think about anything but Tom and his body and how it felt pressed up against her. Clothes were shed until all that was left was the feeling of skin on skin. Sweat glistering on their bodies in the light of the lamp on her nightstand that Sophie didn’t remember turning on. Moans filled the room and Sophie was pleased to realize they weren’t just coming from her.

In between moans and curses, Tom managed to tell her she looked gorgeous and she felt so good and he called out her name more than once. There was little romance to it, mostly just rough, raw primal needs. But to Sophie it felt exactly right. 

She was so lost in the moment that she only seemed to realize afterwards what had happened. It felt as if it had passed in some sort of blissful haze. And only afterwards she seemed capable of looking at things from a more realistic point of view.

Her head was resting on Tom’s chest and she was drawing little patterns on his skin. Her movements were in time with his fingers on her skin. The moment felt blissful and Sophie felt almost bad for asking. But she couldn’t help herself, she had to know. “So where does this leave us?”

The regret settled in as soon as the words had left her mouth. Tom’s fingers stilled on her skin. For what felt like forever, silence filled the room.

“Can we talk about that in the morning?” When Tom finally answered, his voice came out a whisper. He tried to play it off as nothing, but even without looking at him, Sophie could tell something was bothering him. The strain in his voice gave it away.

Not wanting to make matters more awkward, Sophie was quick to agree. “Okay,” came her answer. 

She tried to shift, move over to her side of the bed, but Tom was quick to close his arms around her as soon as she tried to move. The gesture was simple, but it immediately lifted the awkward mood in the room a bit. They didn’t speak anymore, but Sophie relaxed in Tom’s arms and soon was asleep with a small smile gracing her lips.

When the morning came, she woke up on her side of the bed, her legs pressed against her chest and facing outwards. With her eyes still closed, she rolled onto her other side and stretched out her arm in Tom’s direction. Her hand met nothing but the soft bed sheets. Confused, she slowly opened her eyes. All she saw was an empty bed.

Sitting up a little, her eyes searched the room. But there was no sign of Tom. No sounds coming from the bathroom. No clothes spread across the room. Nothing. The room looked perfectly normal, like she had gone to bed alone last night.

She scanned the room one more time to make sure Tom really hadn’t left anything. To make sure this hadn’t just been a nice dream. Her eyes fell on her nightstand. Her glasses, a book, and a glass of water. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing except for the fact that on top of her book, there was a single rose with a note attached to it that hadn’t been there the night before. 

Sophie ignored the painful twist her stomach made all of a sudden and slowly reached out to grab the small piece of paper.

I am sorry. 

Three words. That was all Tom had left her with. And it would be the last she heard from him in a very long time.


	6. Chapter 6

When Sophie got downstairs that morning, she learned that Tom and Benedict had left early that morning. Her mom informed her they had not said goodbye because Tom had not wanted to wake her. Sophie could barely hold in a disappointed groan.

The first days after they left Sophie found herself often staring at her phone. She hoped Tom would call or at least text her. He never did. And she didn't call him either. No matter how much she wanted something more than a stupid note or how much secretly missed him. She was stubborn. And maybe also a little afraid to get hurt further. So instead she got used to the idea of never hearing from Tom again.

Time didn’t stand still in the years that followed. Tom’s rise to fame continued. Ever since the charming British gentleman - the press' words, not hers - had gotten to work with Josh Whedon the world seemed to be at his feet. Everybody and their mother wanted him in their movie. He got the opportunity to choose which movie he wanted to do and picked the perfect ones. A romantic comedy with Jennifer Lawrence. An indie flick about the live and death of Charles Dickens. A movie adaptation of Othello. He did it all. That last one even earned him an Oscar nomination for best actor the year after Sophie last saw him. Which should have been an Oscar win, if you asked Sophie. Which nobody did, of course, because almost nobody knew she had known Tom. And those who did were smart enough not to mention him.

While Tom’s star continued to grow, Sophie’s life progressed as well. Albeit in a different direction then she would have expected. That night with Tom was the cause of late night binge fests with Kat and drinking until she got kicked out of her favorite bar. All that lasted about two weeks. Two weeks of dragging herself out of bed every morning and dreading her classes even more than she already did. Of living on take out and not getting of her couch the entire night. And then, when she drove home from Oxford at the end of that second week of feeling sorry for herself, she heard his voice.

She did a double take and almost crashed her car into a nearby lamp post. But there was no doubt about it. It was definitely Tom’s voice that was coming from her radio. Apparently he was doing some interview about his latest movie for BBC radio. She was about to change the channel when he spoke again. “On a tous deux vies. Le seconde commence quand on réalise que on a seulement une.”

The words caused her car to swirl again and she had to park at the verge of the road to calm herself down. We all have two lives, the second begins when we realize we only have one. She had heard the words before; she knew it was one of Tom’s favorite quotes. That it was somewhat his mantra. She had never bothered to give it much thought before, but now she understood. And she knew things had to change.

That was the night that Sophie decided to take her life into her own hands. She was done taking shit from other people. She was done being unhappy. She only got one shot at this life and she was determined to get it right. 

In the week that followed, she quit the graduate program. She said goodbye to her lonely apartment in Oxford and moved back in with her parents. A mere month later, she was packing her stuff up again. Ready to move to London and follow her dream. Ever since she was a little girl she had secretly dreamed of taking over from Kat’s mom when she would grow older. But since the woman was far from even thinking about retiring, Sophie had decided to challenge her luck somewhere else. And what better place to start living her dream than in the big city?

For a few moments he had considered moving to some other city; maybe try her luck in the Scottish highlands. Because of course she knew Tom resided in London these days. And she liked to be as far away from Tom as possible, so London might not be the smartest move. But then his words rang through her head again and the decision was made. Nobody was going to keep her from following through on this dream. Especially not somebody who had refused to take a chance on her. 

Sophie tried not to let it get to her, yet sometimes she still worried. As much as she tried to deny it, in the beginning the thought was always there in the back of her mind. That she could bump into him on the street. The worry that one day the door of the bakery shop would open and he would walk in. 

It never happened of course. So after a while she forgot about it. She learned to enjoy her stay in London and the fact that the shop was a huge success. Tom became the last thing on her mind. Until that one day, just a week after the shop had celebrated its one year anniversary.

Sophie was in the kitchen behind the shop. She was whisking together another batch of her famous apple crumble cinnoman roll batter when the door bell chimed. She didn’t bother walking out into the shop. It was a quiet moment between the hectic lunch and after work shifts. Sophie knew Kat was fully capable of handling the customer on her own. If not, she would surely yell for Sophie’s help.

The thought of Kat put a smile on Sophie’s face. Katherine, the person that had stood by her through everything and supported her every decision. The girl who grew up surrounded by cupcakes and coffee. The one that hadn’t doubted a moment to shout “Yes, I’ll come with you! Of course I will!” when Sophie had first explained her plans. Before she even had had a chance to ask if Kat would be interested to do this with her. If someone would have told them years ago that this was where their lives were headed, they would have laughed. Now they couldn’t imagine it any other way. 

Kat was her best friend, always had been. They knew each other through and through. There was nothing Kat could do that would surprise Sophie. Or so Sophie thought at least. Because when she suddenly heard her friend yell at the customer, she jumped in surprise.

“You! How dare you walk in here?” Sophie couldn’t make out the response that the other person gave her, but Kat’s loud voice easily reached her ears again. “I don’t give a shit about that! You are not welcome here! You need to leave right now!”

Sophie was bit curious and definitely worried about Kat’s sudden outburst. So she wiped her hands on a towel and speedwalked into the shop. She didn’t waste any time in addressing the situation. “Katherine Williams, what is going on here? This is no way to treat our customers. I’m so sor…” Her sentence stopped halfway when she finally looked at the customer at the other side of the counter. Recognizing him caused her apology to disappear into thin air. All of a sudden she seemed to be at a loss for words.

“I’m sorry,” Kat said. Her voice was down to a normal level now, but laced with worry. “I tried to get rid of him before you saw him.”

For a moment the three of them were silent. Sophie took a deep breath and then said to Kat, “It’s okay, Kat. No need to apologize.” She knew Kat needed not more than a few words to understand her, so she turned to the man at the counter again. A wide, fake smile plastered across her face, she asked him, “What can I get for you, Mr. Hiddleston? Today’s suggestions are at the board over there.” She motioned towards a small chalk board positioned at the far end of the counter. “And I would like to highly recommend the red velvet cheesecake, fresh out of the oven half an hour ago.”

Her tone was chirpy, but man on the other side of the counter had known her long enough to not miss the venomous undertone. Hurt flashed across Tom’s face and it pleased Sophie to see that. Serves him right, she thought to herself.

Tom, however, was being the perfect gentleman, as always. Instead of calling her on it, he only said, “You always made the most delicious cheesecake. I’ll have a piece of that right now and you can pack the rest to go. And a large cappuccino, please.” 

He fell silent for a moment, but Sophie could tell it was only because he was looking for the right words to say. She tried not to be bugged by the fact that after all this time she could still read him effortlessly. Fortunately, before she had time to get wound up about it, he continued. “And perhaps a moment of your time, that would be wonderful too. If that’s alright with you of course.” 

Silence filled the shop again. The only sound was the radio quietly playing in the corner. Sophie considered her options for a moment. She couldn’t explain whe she was even thinking about options. She knew she should decline, refuse to spend any of her valuable time with Tom. She could, she was sure of that. She still knew Tom well enough to know that he wouldn’t hold it against her. He would be hurt, but would accept her decision. Sophie wasn’t sure why she was hesitating at all. She should never speak to him again after what had happened all those years ago. 

But then again, that night was far behind her now. And Tom was still Tom. Charming, polite. And patiently waiting for an answer as Sophie slowly felt her defense weaken. In her mind she cursed herself for being weak. She cursed Tom for still having this effect on her. She had vowed to make an effort to not let people walk over her. Those days were gone. Except this once. This once, curiosity got the best of her. She wanted to know what Tom had to say to her, why on earth he wouldn’t just hurry out with his proverbial tail between his legs.

The smile she sent Tom was smaller this time, but at least it was real. She answered him, “Have a seat. I’ll bring you your order when it is ready.” 

The smile she got from Tom in response was almost blinding. Before she got a chance to change her mind he was scurrying away to one of the tables. 

Kat watched Tom walk away for a moment. As soon as he was out of earshot she turned to Sophie and started talking in hushed whispers. “You are not seriously contemplating it, are you? Sitting down with him and talking?” she wondered out loud. Sophie didn’t say anything, choosing to stare down at her hands in silence as a response. It was all the answer Kat needed. “Oh my God, you are! I can’t believe you, have you gone mental in the five minutes?”

Sophie smacked her friend in the arm. “Keep your voice down! Not the entire street needs to know!” she insisted. “And so what if I’m thinking about talking to him? It’s been two years, Kat. I think we are both mature enough to put the past behind us and have a conversation like normal adults.”

Kat let out a small groan, but Sophie knew the look in her eyes. It meant Kat knew she couldn’t win this argument. That she had given up trying. Sophie felt a little smug as she bent down to pick up her freshly baked cake. 

“Fine, whatever,” Kat told her. Sophie could tell she was annoyed, but she also didn’t miss the concern radiating from Kat’s voice. “I don’t need to witness this, so I’ll be in the back. Just give a shout if you need me.” And with that she stomped off towards the kitchen. 

As Sophie looked back up from the counter, she caught Tom’s eye. The moment she looked at him she knew he had seen the entire conversation. He couldn’t have heard it, but even then it still wasn’t that hard to figure out what they had been talking about. She suddenly felt a bit bad for him, even though she had no reason to. After all, he was the one that had walked into her shop, not the other way around.

For a few moments she just stood behind the counter, fiddling with her hands. All of a sudden she wasn’t sure anymore if this was a good idea. Maybe she should listen to Kat and tell Tom to bugger off. 

She was just about to turn to Tom and tell him just that when her eyes fell on the words above the sitting area. His words. The reason she had dared to open this shop in the first place. She had insisted on painting giving them a place in the shop. A constant reminder to live life to the fullest. 

One life, she told herself. One life. Just take a deep breath and go for it.

Sophie slowly made her way to the table where Tom was sitting. Her hands had a tight grip on the tray that contained Tom’s order and with every step she had to remind herself to take deep breaths. When she sat down beside him, it was just her and Tom in the shop at the moment. Alone for the first time in a very long time. The realization made her slightly uncomfortable.

Tom noticed her discomfort, of that Sophie was sure. But he didn’t call her on it. He just started talking, not giving her a chance to back out anymore. “Thank you, darling. It’s been way too long since I had this stuff. The good stuff,” he started his rambling, while digging into the cheesecake at the same time. “I should have known you were the one responsible for this beautiful shop filled with deliciousness. Actually, I kind of did. A friend recommended this place to me, because according to him they had the best cupcakes in all of London. I told him that maybe they were London’s best, but he would never know what real delicious cupcakes tasted like. Not until he tasted the ones they served in the mornings in a small B&B in Banbury I used to frequent once upon a time. So I guess in a way you could say that I have known all along.”

When he finished his monologue, he looked at Sophie expectantly. Clearly proud of himself that he still remembered her baking and patiently waiting for an answer. Sophie couldn’t bring herself to respond, causing Tom to be met with only silence. 

“So, how are you?” he tried again. 

“Are you kidding me?” Sophie spat out the words. She suddenly felt incredibly annoyed at Tom. All because he asked a simple question. But she just felt like he didn’t have the right to ask her how she was doing.

“That’s how people usually start a conversation.”

“Don’t, Tom. Don’t do that.” The words that left Sophie’s mouth were simple, but they still brought a crease to Tom’s forehead. Confused, he wanted to know, “What? Don’t do what, darling?”

“Exactly that, Tom.” She did her best to explain and to stay calm at the same time. Her annoyance seemed to grow with every word that left Tom’s mouth. “You cannot walk in here and ask to talk to me like you are just an old friend that I haven’t seen in years. You cannot act like nothing happened. Darling this and darling that aren’t going to get you anywhere.”

The next moment Tom wasn’t looking at Sophie anymore. Instead he was staring at the piece of cake in front of him and continuously poking it with his fork. Sophie almost told him to not play around with his food. But before she could, Tom said to the table top, “I wish I could.”

The words were only just audible over the radio playing in the background. “Excuse, what was that?” Sophie questioned, trying to find out if she had understood Tom’s murmuring correctly.

“I wish I could,” Tom repeated. His eyes never left the table top. “I wish I could pretend nothing ever happened, that you really were just a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. Or I wish I could forget what did happen. I can’t though. I never have been able to forget how stupid I was that last morning. How I should have picked up the phone and called you. I have been such a moron.”

“Don’t bother, Tom. It isn’t going to work on me anymore.” Sophie’s annoyed response finally caused Tom to look up at her again. “You’re speaking in riddles, dar- Sophie. What is that supposed to mean?”

Sophie looked at Tom for his moment. She searched his eyes, she searched his expression. But she couldn’t find anything but honest curiosity. He really didn’t understand what she meant. With a sigh, she explained, “It means that you shouldn’t bother trying to win me over with your talk about regret and forgiveness. I’m not that girl anymore.”

The questioning look on Tom’s face barely changed. “The first part I get. The second part, not so much. What do you mean, that girl?”

“I mean that she is gone. The girl I was all those years ago when you last saw me. The insecure girl that always said yes and always tried to please everybody. The girl that waited weeks for a phone call from you. She doesn’t exist anymore. You can try and talk about forgiveness and letting the past rest and so on, but you won’t win me over with your talks this time. I’m not one of your swooning teenage fans, hanging of your every word. I was a mess because of you. But a lot has changed in the years since you left.” Sophie stopped her explanation there. She didn’t need Tom to know that is was hearing him on the radio that changed her life. No need to feed his ego any further.

Sophie half expected Tom to stand up and walk out. She knew she was making things hard for him. And she was glad to see a glimpse of guilt and remorse on his face. In her opinion he didn’t deserve any better. He should feel like crap for the way he treated her.

She figured he was going to admit that she was right or that he never should have come here. She did not expect him to laugh at her. That damn signature laugh of his that went all the way up to his eyes and never managed to not give her chills, not even after all this time. 

“Oh Sophie, darling. You were never that girl,” Tom said with a light shake of his head. He sounded sad. Almost as if he couldn’t believe she used to see herself like that. “Looking at you now I see a strong, confident young woman, Soph. But that is what I always saw. Even back then.

Sophie opened her mouth to protest. But before any words could slip past her lips, a long slender finger silenced them. Sophie couldn’t stop the shiver running down her back from Tom’s feather light touch. And she couldn’t help it, she slowly felt the anger drain from her body.

When Tom was sure she wasn’t going to speak again, he let his hand fall back to his side and spoke again. “The first time we met.”

It was Sophie’s turn now to feel the creases appear on her forehead. “What?” she questioned in confusion. 

“Do you remember the first time we met?” Tom wanted to know.

“Yes…” came Sophie’s slow response. She had no idea why he brought this up now and where he was heading with it. “The bakery shop back in Banbury. With Kat behind the counter.”

“Exactly,” Tom confirmed. He fell silent for a moment. He waited, only to realize Sophie still didn’t get what he was trying to say. So he continued, “I was an asshole that day. I wasn’t even that well known yet. Nowhere near how people look at me now when I walk down the street. But there were some people who knew my name. And I decided that day to use my raising fame to get what I wanted. And Kat would have given it to me. Hadn’t it been for you, who called me out on it. Right there, in the middle of that shop, not caring what anybody else thought. You stood up for your friend. You might have had doubts about yourself. You might have worried that you weren’t good enough. But it has always been for nothing. You were so strong.” 

Sophie was so stunned by his words, so busy listening to him that she jumped in surprise when she felt Tom’s hand cover hers. She looked down at their hands when he pinched hers in reassurance. In the back of her head there was a tiny voice telling her that she should not fall for his words again. Yelling hat she should put up more resistance. But the voice became more fleeting with every word that passed Tom’s lips.

They sat in silence for a moment. Then Sophie felt Tom’s other hand, his fingers underneath her chin. He forced her to look up at him. Patiently waiting until she was looking at his eyes again. “You have always been a strong young woman, Sophie Scott. For as long as I’ve known you,” he reassured her once again. 

He continued to stare at her and his gaze almost forced her to keep looking back at him. And that’s when she realized it. That despite growing fame and stardom, the guy she had cared about so much all those years ago was still behind that well-known face. The fact that Tom was still Tom. And despite what had happened that dreadful morning, whatever had gone through is mind then, Tom would always be Tom. Loving, caring, wonderful Tom. 

The tiny voice in her head was gone now. There was no way back now, it seemed that Tom and his words had found their way into her life again. There was a good chance that Kat would be giving her a lecture about it later. But that was later. For now, Sophie smiled at Tom, wondering out loud, “You always know exactly what to say, don’t you?” 

“Only to you,” came Tom’s quick answer. The smile that graced his lips was evident in his voice, drenched in relief. Sophie knew that he knew that he had just been accepted back into her life.


	7. Chapter 7

Time once again didn’t stand still for Sophie. Hours, days, months passed until if felt like Tom had never left her life to begin with. And Sophie felt like she finally had her life in order. She had a great job and amazing friends in the city she loved. It seemed like nothing could go wrong. But of course, that is the moment when something always does.

“Thanks for stopping by. We hope to see you again soon, Ma’am!”

Sophie watched as her latest customer left the bakery. Her eyes followed the woman as she passed the window and she managed a small wave, which earned her a smile. As soon as the woman was out of eye sight, however, Sophie let out a sigh as huge as she could manage. “Finally!” she muttered.

“Oh come on, the lunch rush wasn’t that bad today! We’ve had way worse days than this.” 

Sophie shrugged as she met Kat’s gaze. She knew she could sigh around Kat without earning an angry gaze. If anything, Kat would worry about her in these moments. Therefore, she was quick to agree it hadn’t been the worst lunch shift they ever had. “I know, I know,” she admitted. “I just had little sleep. The late night I had is catching up to me. I didn’t hit the hay until two this morning.”

“Ah, your friend came to visit again?” The quote marks Katherine made as she spoke the word friend and her teasing tone cause her a light punch in the arm.

“No, Tom wasn’t here last night,” Sophie was quick to deny. She didn’t have the energy to play along and pretend she had no idea what Kat was talking about.

Ever since Tom had entered her life again, there had been many nights where he had kept her awake a lot longer than was good for her. And not just with talking. It had taken a while, but Tom had somehow found his way back into Sophie’s bed. Just friends with benefits though. They had both insisted on that, neither wanting a reapeat of what had happened after the first time they slept together. 

But this hadn’t been one of those nights. “It’s been a month and a half since I last saw him in person. If you really need to know, I was busy until two this morning finishing the order for that bridal shower.”

“Oh, right. I guess I shouldn’t be making assumptions,” Kat apologized with ease. But there was mischief in her eyes and Sophie knew she had something coming. She wasn’t surprised when Kat added, “But that does explain why you are so cranky today. Lack of sleep and yet you haven’t been getting laid lately!” Katherine’s laugh rang through the empty room. She ducked just in time to avoid the wet dishrag Sophie threw in her direction. “Okay, okay, I get the hint, no need to throw stuff at me,” she joked, raising her arms in defeat. “Tell you what, I’ll clean the rest of these tables, keep an eye on the counter. Meanwhile you can go get some food. A coffee too, you look like you can use it.” 

Sophie shot a genuine smile in Kat’s direction. Gratefully, she blew a kiss, with the words, “I don’t know how I would survive in this business without you!”

Two hours passed with Sophie leaving the front of her business in Kat’s capable hands. Meanwhile, she got some food in her system and, like Katherine had suggested, some coffee as well. The warm liquid reenergized her. It made her feel more human again. The caffeine didn’t take long to kick in. Soon Sophie found herself whistling along to the radio that she could hear through the open door towards the shop. The sound got interrupted now and then by the chiming of the door bell, signaling another customer.

She just had her tenth batch of cupcake batter of the afternoon mixing. She was busy pulling some plates of cupcakes out of the oven when Katherine yelled, “Hey, did you know that Tom went to the tennis games as Wimbledon this weekend?”

“Yeah, he went to see Andy Murray in the men’s single finals. Why are you asking?” Sophie yelled back while she juggled two plates of cupcakes, trying to find a spot in the kitchen to let them cool down.

“Oh uh… I was just reading some reviews of the game and I remembered you mentioned it a while ago.”

Kat’s answer sounded forced and made Sophie frown. All of a sudden she felt something in the pit of her stomach. Worry, it seemed. She couldn’t explain why, but suddenly she had the feeling that something was very, very wrong. She opened her mouth to shout back, but was beaten by the chiming of the door bell.   
She swallowed her words until a more appropriate moment and started filling another plate of cupcakes.

As soon as she heard Kat bid the customer goodbye and the bell chimed again, however, she was behind the counter. She waved politely to the woman leaving the shop, but as soon as the door had completely closed, she turned to face Kat. “You’re such a bad liar, Kat. I did not tell you about Tom going to Wimbledon. And I know that after all this time you still don’t care for Tom, unless when you are worrying about me. So why the sudden interest?” she demanded to know. “Did his face pop up in the tabloids again?” She tried to sound calm and collected. But it was obvious she had a hard time suppressing the feeling of worry that was still present at the pit of her stomach. 

Kat seemed to sense Sophie’s worry. She stared at her friend for a moment, biting her lower lip. Sophie could tell she was carefully weighing her next words. “JustJared,” she eventually mumbled.

“What?”

“JustJared,” Katherine repeated. She seemed to already be regretting the decision to open her mouth and seemed to be wishing she hadn’t asked about Tom at all. Even though she must have known Sophie would see right through it, she still put up a big smile when she went on. “You know, that website with all the celebrity gossip? They posted some pictures of him. It’s just him posing and being a big goof though. I just wasn’t sure if you knew about his trip already. But apparently you do, so yeah…”

“Never try your hand at poker, Kat. You wouldn’t able to last one round, your poker face is terrible.” Sophie sounded a lot braver than she felt. Inside her head, worry only grew stronger. Something was not right here. “Now, let me see those pictures.”

Katherine stared at her for a moment, her eyes full of doubt. Then she went to one of the tables in the corner, where her laptop was standing. Sophie vaguely realized that they should probably have a more strict policy on laptops at work. Customers might not like the idea of the staff aimlessly browsing the internet during their shifts. But then again, they did have free wifi and a lot of them often brought their own computers and spend hours in their sitting area. It was just how they worked. 

But all thoughts of policies and customers were suddenly erased as she looked at the pictures of Tom on Kat’s laptop. There were indeed pictures of him posing for the cameras and of him goofing around at table tennis. But the ones that immediately caught Sophie’s attention were the ones from the stands. The ones where he was all bright smiles and shining eyes. And holding hands with a woman.

“He seems to be having a good time. They both are. I wonder if he met Andy Murray, I have to ask him that the next time we speak. It is nice to see him this happy.”

The words left her mouth in quick succession, almost like word vomit. Kat didn’t say anything, but Sophie was sure that she could see right through her tough stance. Because on the inside, Sophie felt like throwing up. Really throwing up, not just words. She wondered how she could have ever fooled herself like that.

A friend with benefits. Sex, no strings attached. That’s what they had agreed on. Looking back, it sounded strange sometimes, even to Sophie. The one thing that had driven them apart was the one thing that had brought them even closer together now. But that is what had happened. 

One night, only weeks Tom had walked into the shop, he had been blue about a girlfriend that broke up with him. They both had more than a little bit of wine. They ended up in bed again and the sex had been mind-blowing, just like the previous time. Only this time Tom didn’t make the stupid mistake of sneaking out in the morning. They talked and they both agreed that Sophie shouldn’t be a rebound, that they were better of as friends. So that’s what they became. Friends with benefits.

Kat of course had given her hell about it. And even now, when almost a year had passed, she still made it clear often enough that she didn’t trust Tom. It was the one thing Sophie didn’t seem to find a consensus on with Kat. Other people worried too. The ones that knew about her agreement with Tom had all urged her to be careful. Because sure, it was all fun and games. Until one developed feelings for the other. Until one got hurt. But Sophie had always brushed off their concerns. That would never happen with Tom and her, she told them. Because they knew that this was nothing more than some friends having fun. This little wordless agreement that they had going on, it worked perfectly for them, she would insist.

But she had been fooling herself. That's what she realized when looking at that picture. Staring at Tom being all cozy and happy with another woman, she realized that she had been wrong all along. This had all been fun and games, until it suddenly wasn’t anymore. And she was the one getting hurt.


	8. Chapter 8

A few days passed without Sophie hearing from Tom. Then, one evening Sophie was propped up on the couch when out of nowhere a kiss was pressed to the top of her head. It made her jump a few feet high. She was just quick enough to catch her laptop and stop it from sliding of her lap. She whipped her head around only to find Tom standing behind the couch. Music was playing in her headphones, but she could tell Tom obviously found her surprised reaction quite funny. As she removed her headphones she found that indeed, he was giggling as he plopped down beside her on the couch.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. But you didn’t open so I used the spare key you gave me. I was hoping you maybe to order some pizza and watch a movie?”

Apologizing for something that wasn’t even his fault. Tom Hiddleston, always the gentleman. It was usually wonderful to be around him, but at this moment it annoyed Sophie. “Uhm, yeah, hello to you too, Tom,” she snapped at him.

“Hey, what’s with the bitchy reaction? I’d thought you’d be glad to see me.” 

Although his voice was completely leveled, Sophie could still see the hurt in Tom’s eyes. She already regretted her words. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she sighed. “Long day. Of course I’m happy to see you. I just wasn’t expecting you at all right now. Figured you’d be busy being a big shot on a movie set somewhere.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. No matter how much she had tried to deny it sometimes in the past, she was always happy to see Tom. She would always be happy to see Tom. Yet in this moment the smile on her face was only half-hearted. She wanted him close, but at the same time wished him as far away as possible. All thanks to some photos on a gossip website.

Deep down Sophie knew she should know better and shouldn’t let the photos get to her. Even growing up, she had never understood what the appeal of gossip was. Why people were so interested in other people’s lives when they couldn’t even get their own together. But then again, maybe that was because those photos had never affected her life before. She never understood the impact such photos could have on someone, because the people never mattered to her before.

A few days had passed since Kat had reluctantly shown her the photos. And that was part of the problem. Sophie had had a lot of time to think. To study them over and over again. And she had come to the realization that it wasn’t even Jane Arthy - the woman’s name, she had learned - she was annoyed about. It was the fact that she was there with Tom, out in the open. The fact that he didn’t mind being seen with her in public. And when Sophie realized that, she had started thinking further. It had hit her that not only had Tom never taken her anywhere public; she hadn’t even seen the inside of his apartment. He always came to visit her, dropping by whenever he felt like it. Never the other way around. It hurt her to think this way, but apparently a quick booty call was all she was to Tom. 

A cough from Tom pulled Sophie’s attention back to the present. She realized she was staring off in the distance and her hands were clenched into fists. The thoughts twirling in her head had made anger and annoyance boil up. She took a deep breath in an effort to calm herself down again. “Sorry,” she muttered to Tom. “Take out and a movie sound fine. Shall I order two Quattro frommagi pizzas?”

“Sure, sounds like a plan.”

“Good, then you can pick a movie while I place the order,” Sophie said as she lifted herself from the couch. Her tone was strictly polite and void of any warmth it normally carried for Tom. She was sure he picked up on it. 

She could feel Tom’s eyes on her as she grabbed her phone and dialed the pizza place. Yet when she turned to look at him, he seemed engrossed in her DVD collection. He clearly knew something was off, but he didn’t want to push the subject. Sophie wasn’t sure if she should be charmed or annoyed by the fact that he knew her so well. At the moment though, she was leaning towards the latter.

The mood lightened a little bit when Tom showed he had picked a shared favorite. But even before the movie started, Sophie knew she had to say something. She knew the subject would be annoying her the entire night if she didn’t. So she casually asked, “Hey, how was Wimbledon?”

The question wasn’t meant to be a distraction, but to Tom it was. If Tom knew about Sophie’s annoyance or thoughts, he was sure to forget it the moment that tennis was mentioned. He immediately turned to where Sophie was pouring them both a glass of whine and started gushing. With enthusiastic gestures and a wide smile lighting up his face, he talked about how fantastic the game had been. How he was so honored to be part of such a historical moment. He turned into a major fanboy when he explained that he got to meet Andy Murray during a celebration dinner afterwards. He gushed about how Andy was such a sweet guy, so down to earth and wonderful to talk to. Not once, however, did he mention the woman that had been at his side during the game. 

Hearing Tom talk so enthusiastically calmed Sophie down a bit. She always enjoyed it when Tom was telling her stories, especially when he talked so animated. Sure, she wanted to ask him about his date. But more than that, she realized, she just wanted a laid-back night with her friend. It had been too long since they last had that, just a movie and take out while just hanging on the couch. So Sophie decided that if Tom didn’t want to talk about his date, she wasn’t going to stir the conversation in that direction either. She mentally made a promise to herself that she could just ask him later if it continued to bug her. 

The rest of the evening went by peacefully. Just hanging around and laughing at the most ridiculous things, but it made Sophie incredibly happy. For a few blissful hours, she didn’t think about Jane Arthy or dates or Tom’s life outside her apartment. When it was time for her to hit the hay, she almost felt sorry. The night had been relaxed and being with Tom felt nice as always. But unfortunately, she had to get up at the crack of down the next morning to finish some orders.

When she got up and mentioned to Tom that she was going to get ready for bed, he nodded absentmindedly. Sophie shrugged it off easily, figured he was too busy playing around on his phone to pay much attention to her words. 

When she came out of the bathroom, however, the living room was empty. She frowned, because she was sure that Tom would never just leave without saying goodbye. She stood there thinking in the dark for a moment, until a thought occurred to her. She almost face palmed, wondering how she could have been so naïve. She should have known Tom didn’t just come over for a quiet night on the couch. 

Her thoughts got confirmed as she made her way to the bedroom. Clothes were leaving a trail for her to follow. She found Tom sprawled across her bed, wearing only his boxers. A smirk was playing around his lips.

With a smile, she got into the bed and under the covers. Feigning innocence, she asked, “So I take it you plan on spending the night here?” 

“Absolutely. You seemed a bit tense all night and I figured I could help you relax.” Tom grinned like the Cheshire cat as he crawled closer to Sophie. It didn’t take long before she could feel his hands starting to caress her under the sheets. His lips weren’t far behind and soon attached to her neck. 

Sophie let out a groan of pleasure as Tom started sucking harder on her skin. Right before she completely lost all sense of any reality aside from Tom, in the brief moment that she could still think straight, she managed to push his head a little lower, away from her neck. The last thing she wanted was waking up with a giant hickey tomorrow morning. She wanted to come across as professional to her customers, not as some horny teenager. Plus Kat would never let her hear the end of it. 

And then, just as she was about to lose herself in Tom’s feather light touches and love bites, her train of thought caused reality to hit her like a ton of bricks. No matter how briefly the thought of Kat passed through her mind, it was enough to make another image flash through her mind. Pictures on a laptop. Tom in the stands at Wimbledon. Jane Arthy.

The next moment she was pushing Tom away. Or at least trying to, because he didn’t seem to notice her sudden change of heart. “Not tonight, Tom.”

Her plea seemed to fall on deaf ears, as Tom continued to map out her body with his hands and lips. 

“I’m serious, Tom,” she tried again. Her hands were firm on his chest and did their best to push Tom away. “Not tonight. I don’t mind you sleeping here tonight, but nothing more.”

Her words finally seemed to reach Tom’s brain, because he stopped his actions and looked up at her. One look in his eyes was enough to tell Sophie he wasn’t going to give up without a fight. “Oh, come on, darling,” he said with a pout while giving her his best puppy dog eyes. “We were having so much fun.”

The words set off a spark in Sophie. She suddenly felt disrespected and dirty even. Shifting backwards, away from Tom, she told him, “I said no, Tom. I don’t want to have sex with you tonight. If that’s what you want, maybe you shouldn’t have come here, maybe you should have visited Jane Arthy instead.” 

She didn’t mean to mention it, but the woman has been on her mind for so long now that the words left her mouth before she could stop herself. Tom didn’t seem to understand the sudden namedropping though. “What are you talking about?” he demanded to know.

Tom’s voice was calm and innocent. It only infuriated Sophie more. “Don’t play dumb! I saw you two having fun at Wimbledon.”

“Oh, that!” Tom’s voice was filled with relief because he thought he understood what Sophie was talking about. The emotion only enraged Sophie further and his next words didn’t help his case either. “Yeah, that was a nice day. I hadn’t seen Jane in such a long time. But I would never go to her for sex; we’re just friends, Soph. She knows…”

“Friends my ass! I saw those pictures. Your hand on her thigh. Her arm around yours. I don’t understand why you are denying it, Tom. But then again, I never took you for a cheater either. 

“Oh, come on. That’s not fair, Soph! You know I’m not a cheater, I never could be. I’m not dating Jane. I don’t like her that way. Besides, don’t you think I would have told…?” 

There was a light strain to Tom’s voice, but other than that he sounded perfectly calm. Pleading, but calm. Sophie couldn’t understand how he could be that way. The calmer Tom was, the angrier she got. She interrupted Tom again through gritted teeth. “Give me one good reason to believe that after those pictures.

“Stop doing that!” 

It was Sophie’s turn to be surprised know. “Stop doing what?” she wanted to now.Her rage was temporarily replaced by genuine surprise.

“Stop interrupting me! You always do that!” Sophie could tell Tom was losing his temper as well. His voice was raised now.

His tone of voice only added to the way his words ticked her off. In no time her anger was back. She screamed at him, demanded to know, “Oh, so this is about me now? Well if it bothers you so much, then why are you still here?”

Tom didn’t miss a beat and yelled right back at her, “Because I want to fuck you tonight, not some music exec I happened to take to Wimbledon!”

Sophie could tell Tom regretted the words the instant they left his mouth. At least he was being honest. But silence filled the room. Because they both knew that Tom had just crossed the line. That one line that should never be crossed. He had always claimed that they were friends. But apparently she was only good for a quick fuck, while he preferred other people for the rest. 

For a few brief moments, all they could do was stare at each other. The silence didn’t last long though. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to…” Tom started apologizing at the same time Sophie started yelling, “Shut up! And get out! Get your stuff and get the fuck out of here!” 

“Soph, please let me explain! It came out all wrong. You know I didn’t mean it like that, you mean so much more to me…” 

Tom was pleading now, begging her to listen, but Sophie was having none of it. She got up from the bed and started gathering Tom’s clothes, following the trail all the way back to the living room. Tom was close behind her, but she ignored him completely. Until his hand came down onto her shoulder. 

She reacted as if she was stung by a bee. She turned around to face Tom in the blink of an eye and shoke off his hand in the process. “Don’t you dare touch me!” she hissed at him. 

Tom took a step back. He seemed surprised by her reaction, which only caused Sophie to become more livid. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care about your excuses,” she told him. “Now get the fuck out of my apartment!”she added while pushing his clothes into his arms.

For a long moment, Tom didn’t seem to react. It was as if he didn’t get any of Sophie’s words. And then, something changed. Sophie could pinpoint the exact moment when he realized it was useless to try and change her mind. Color drained from his face, his shoulders slumped. He didn’t bother saying anything as he walked out of the apartment. 

A barefooted walk of shame was the last thing Sophie saw before she slammed the door closed. And slumped against it, burying her head in her arms. 

The last time she cried about a boy was when her highschool boyfriend had broken up with her. Back then she had sworn to never cry over a boy again. And she hadn’t. She hadn’t cried when Tom had wanted to kiss her but didn’t. She had been a mess when Tom left her after sleeping together, but she hadn’t cried. And now here she was. Halfnaked on the floor. And with tears streaming down her face freely.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is so dear to me, so thank you so much for all the lovely comments! You guys are awesome! Thanks a lot for kicking my ass and reminding me to post more. 
> 
> So now, without further ado: the next chapter of THiddy's story. Enjoy :).

After their fight, Sophie didn’t hear from Tom for days. And at first, she didn’t mind. They had bickered before, but never fought like that. Even when Tom had walked into the bakery shop after all those years, it hadn’t been like this. Raised voices, sure. But never outright yelling, closing the door in his face like now. She had cried all night, and she still wasn’t sure if the tears were fuelled by anger or by missing him.

Just replaying the events in her head still triggered Sophie’s rage. The words that had come out of Tom’s mouth that night still hurt. So for a brief period of time, she was happy that Tom hadn’t tried to contact her. The feeling didn’t last long. 

It took a day or two, maybe three. That’s all the time Sophie needed to start missing Tom. She had gotten so used to having him in her life. The laugh in his voice when he called her. Hugging him after not seeing him for too long, always too long. Text messages at the most random of times. The little things that felt so natural she didn’t even realize how much she enjoyed them until they were gone. She wanted them all back.

Yet, she had not contacted Tom. No phone calls, no text messages, not even an email. This was where that damn stubbornness of her had kicked in. She felt that Tom was the one who needed to apologize. She figured that if he really wanted her in his life, he would call her. He didn’t call. 

On day five after their fall out, Sophie sat at the counter at the bakery shop. Aside from the necessary baking to keep the shop open, she hadn’t been doing much. Hanging around and sulking. Checking her phone every two minutes to make sure she didn’t miss a message. She was exactly doing that when Kat came back from serving a customer. “Still nothing?” she wanted to know.

“Still nothing.” Sophie confirmed.

Kat disappeared into the kitchen, only to walk back out a few moments later with a plate filled with cupcakes. “I don’t get you, Sophie,” she said. She continued their conversation while she started filling the cupcakes into the counter. “Have you forgotten the reason he left your life all those years ago? Sex. You let him back in, give the guy a second chance, I can understand that. But then he screws you over again and here you are sulking over him. Why would you even still want to hear from him?”

For a long moment Sophie contemplated what to say. But however she turned the words in her head, she knew Kat wouldn’t understand. She never did understand Sophie when it came to Tom. So instead of trying to weasel her way out with a lame excuse, Sophie admitted, “I… I want to give him a chance to explain. I feel like I’ve been too harsh with him and I should have at least given him a chance to explain his point of view, his side of the story. But I didn’t and now I miss him. I guess that’s the biggest part of it, I miss him.”

As expected, Kat didn’t understand. “Oh come on, Sophie! He’s an asshole, he’s proven that yet again. He doesn’t deserve another chance,” she said. Sophie could hear the frustration in her voice. To her Tom was just a narcissistic movie star that had screwed over her friend one too many times. And her stubbornness made it impossible for her to feel any other way. 

Sophie knew she should be happy that she had a friend like Kat. Someone who always stood up for her, even when she didn’t stand up for herself. But that didn’t change the fact that Sophie really liked being with Tom and that she missed him a lot now that he wasn’t around. And Kat’s reaction raised a need in her to defend her opinion. “I miss him, okay?” she said. She cringed at the defensiveness of her own voice. “I miss his laugh and random text messages at three in the morning. It was nice to have someone to hold and to kiss. And the sex was always mindbl…”

“Need to know, need to know!” Kat yelled the words at Sophie. She didn’t sound angry or upset, just grossed out at the thought of Sophie having sex with Tom. Her raised voice, however, did attract the attention of some customers. They frowned as watched the conversation between the two friends.

When Kat noticed they were having an audience, she smiled politely in the direction of the two women. Always the professional. When she spoke again, however, her voice was lowered, meant only for Sophie to hear. “Look, I know how you feel about Tom,” she said with a sigh. “I don’t agree with it or think I will ever understand, but I know I won’t be able to change your mind. So I’ll just tell you this: Be patient. If you really are meant to be friends, you’ll hear from him. Sooner rather than later.”

Kat’s words made Sophie feel slightly better. She knew her friend wanted the best for her. But more than anything, she wanted her to be happy. Whether that was with or without Tom. “But what if he thinks that too? After all, I kind of started the fight. Maybe I should just call him.”

“Don’t you dare call him!” Kat told Sophie in a firm tone. “Maybe you started it, but from what I’ve heard he clearly was the one that crossed the line. So if he wants to make up for that, he should be the one calling.”

Sophie had barely opened her mouth to start responding when the door bell chimed. Looking over her shoulder, she could see several customers walk in. And she realized that, despite how gloomy she had been feeling lately, the sun was out and it seemed to be a beautiful day. This always meant a busy day for the shop. 

Kat seemed to read Sophie’s mind. Just before the first customer arrived at the counter, she told Sophie, “He’ll contact if he wants to. Sitting here and waiting for it isn’t going to help, you can’t will him to call. He won’t appear out of thin air just because you wish so. So why don’t you get off your lazy butt and start baking again? It looks like it’s going to be a busy day.” Not waiting for an answer, she turned away from Sophie and greeted the man at the counter with a smile.

The words rang in Sophie’s mind for a long time. She still wasn’t sure what to do. Her mind insisted that Kat was right and she should not waste any time waiting for Tom to call. He would if he wanted to. Her heart, however, told a completely different story. It planted tiny seeds of doubts in her mind, told her that maybe listening to Kat wasn’t the best idea.  
Minutes passed by as Sophie stayed where she was, making no move to get up and work. She played with her phone while she watched Kat happily chat to customers, pack pastries, make coffees. Her eyes followed her friend as she walked through the shop to serve the people that took the time to wind down. The ones that stayed to enjoying their food. And it was there, on the back wall of their sitting area, that she found exactly the encouragement she needed. 

The second begins when we realize we only have one. Skimming over the words, that was all she needed to get her heart and mind on the same page. She realized that she shouldn’t be sitting here sulking and contemplating whether or not to call Tom. Her attitude wasn’t helping anybody, least of all herself. She needed to get off her lazy ass and do something. Take matters into her own hands again, not wait for a guy to contact her. 

So that was exactly what Sophie did. She hopped of the bar stool she’d been sitting on so long it might have her butt imprinted on it by now. And she made her way straight to the kitchen. She was ready to cook up a storm. 

Kat shot her a knowing smile as they passed each other, but she didn’t say anything. No need to go I told you so. But she could have said it if she had wanted to, because, as Sophie realized later that day, Kat had been absolutely right. Once Sophie had gotten in on the action, the day had passed in a flurry of customers and baking. Even if she had wanted to, there was no time to think about her conversation with Kat or to wonder why Tom still hadn’t called.

Before she knew it, the sun had long set behind the horizon. She had stayed late to lay the last hand on an order for a baby shower. The busy day had drained her from most of her energy and all she wanted right now was a hot shower and a bed. 

However, the first thing that she noticed when when she entered her apartment was a beautiful, shiny white box. Standing on her dining table and complete with red ribbon. A box that she was sure hadn’t been there when she left this morning.

Carefully, almost like she was worried it would attack her if she came too close, she tiptoed to the package. She was curious too. She didn’t have a clue as to how the box had gotten there. Could her parents have stopped by to drop of a surprise? It had to be them, as they were the only ones that had a key to her apartment. Aside from Tom. But it couldn’t possibly be from him, could it?

Slowly, Sophie reached out for the lid of the box. It felt smooth in her hands. Expensive. She was careful not to tear it as she pulled it off the box. 

But when she laid eyes on the contents of the box, the lid was the last thing on her mind. It dropped to the floor with a thud, but Sophie couldn’t care less. All she had eyes for was the beautiful emerald green dress that laid neatly folded in front of her. She could almost hear the seconds tick by as she stood there in the middle of her apartment. Mouth agape as she stared at the beauty in front of her.

Then she carefully reached for the fabric. A soft gasp passed her lips when her fingers touched it. She realized it was silk, which felt soft, smooth and warm. And which she would probably never be able to afford on her own, she added as an afterthought.

She still wondered who would be kind and generous enough to send her a dress like that. She doubted it came from her parents, they knew she didn’t plan attending an event where she would be able to wear such a gown. And they knew better than to spend money on something like that.

Immediately her mind wandered to Tom again. She could easily picture him in a tuxedo, surrounded by women wearing something like the dress before her. And he did have a key to her place after all. But it couldn’t be, could it? Surely Tom would just call or text or come over, instead of sending her a dress she had no use for.

Before she could give it too much thought, however, she was distracted again by the box in front of her. She sighed. Her fingers itched to pull out the dress and put it on. She had always wondered what she would look like in such a garment. And she could tell that whoever brought it here knew her well. Just from the look of it, she could tell it would look beautiful with her auburn hair and dark chocolate eyes. 

Not being able to contain herself any longer, she reached forward again and carefully took the dress from the box. As she did so, a small envelop fell on the floor. It landed with a thud, making Sophie jump. 

She took a deep breath to calm her heartbeat again. Then she carefully put back the dress and hunched down to pick up the envelop. It felt heavier than she had expected. Through the paper she could feel it was not just a letter in it. There was something thicker than paper, but she couldn’t quite place it. 

Curiously she opened the envelop and turned it upside down. Her opened hand below it caught a key. A key to her apartment, she recognized. Which seemed to leave only one possibility as to who this gorgeous gift was from. 

She pulled out a card from the envelop before putting it aside. The handwriting on it confirmed her suspicions about the sender. None other than Tom Hiddleston. It took her a bit aback. Never in a million years had she expected Tom to send her a package out of the blue. Especially not a dress that was most likely ridiculously expensive. Especially not when they hadn’t spoken in days and didn’t exactly end their last conversation on good terms. Hoping the message would make things a bit clear, she grabbed the card and started reading. 

_If you can find it in your heart to forgive me (again), please get in the car that will stop at the shop tomorrow night at seven. If not, I understand and I won’t contact you again. I’m sorry. About everything. - Tom_

He apologized. He was leaving the decision up to her. And apparently he wanted to take her someplace, instead of coming to hers. The words were everything she had ever wanted to hear from Tom. 

She did her best to ignore the voice in her head that sounded a lot like Kat. ‘He contacted you. I told you so!’ it singsonged as she tried to make a decision about what to do next.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another chapter. Happy Easter to those who celebrate. If not, happy Sunday either way!

Sophie layed awake for falf of the night, but by the next day she had made her decision. That afternoon Sophie had made her decision. She was sitting at the counter in the bakery shop again. She was watching Kat, who serving to a customer sitting in the corner of the shop. 

Sophie felt like Cinderella and not in a good way. She was wearing the dress and waiting for her ride to arrive. In the casual shop she stuck out like a sore thumb. Every customer couldn’t help but focus on her the instant they walked in. She tried to not let it get to her and did her best to ignore them. If she focused on the customers too much and paid attention the giggles that left their lips, she would lose her nerve.

She had hoped that Kat would be able to make the waiting bearable. But of course she had no such luck. The entire day Kat had tried to talk Sophie out of the idea. “I never understood you. Not when it comes to Tom at least,” she said to Sophie when she was back behind the counter.

Sophie let out a heavy sigh. Their conversation had been going much like the one they had the previous day: Kat was annoyed at Tom and Sophie did her best to defend him. She should have expected this when she told Kat what happened. She could have guessed that Kat would think Sophie should stop letting Tom back into her life again and again. 

But Sophie couldn’t help herself. Over the years she had learned to be a strong, independent woman who didn’t need a man by her side to make her way through life. But Tom was different from other men. It felt like they were magnets with opposite polarities. They didn’t always need to be together, but they were drawn to each other. And she wasn’t willing to let him get away far enough for the magnetic force to break and lose him. Because although they had bickered from time to time, the only memories that involved Tom were good ones. The way he listened to her and just knew what to say when she was having a bad day. When they spent time together he made her feel like the most important woman in the world. 

Part of her knew that Kat had a point and that she shouldn’t forgive him this easily. But ever since he had walked into the shop and into her life again, she couldn’t imagine a life without him anymore. And not just as friends with benefits. The benefits were more than okay, but she wanted so much more than that. Cuddles on the couch and pecks on the lips when the whole world could see. Going home at night and knowing Tom would be waiting for her. She wanted so much more than just friends and she silently hoped that maybe this trip was Tom showing her he had similar feelings.

She would never tell all that to Kat of course. The girl would think she was crazy. Instead she said, “I have long ago accepted the fact that I’ll always run back to Tom. I know you don’t get it and sometimes I don’t get it myself. But that’s the way it is.” As an afterthought, she added, “Besides, I thought you were the one who told me to wait for him to contact me. That if he wanted to talk he would. You were right. So why are you still complaining?”

“Because I didn’t mean to be right!” The words had apparently left Kat’s mouth before she could help herself. Because she she clasped a hand in front of her mouth and her eyes went wide in surprise. Sophie didn’t say anything, just raised her eyebrows in question and waited for Kat to elaborate. 

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Kat admitted. “But now I might as well tell you that’s the truth. I honestly said that to make you feel better. I didn’t actually expect him to get back in touch with you. And definitely not like this.”

“Well all the more reason for me to go!” Sophie responded. “Because all this than just proves that he’s not as big of an asshole as you think he is. Or want him to be, I’m not sure whether it’s the first or the latter.”

Kat opened her mouth to further discuss the matter, but before she could say anything the door bell chimed. Both women looked up from their discussion to greet the customer. But neither managed to speak as they laid eyes on the man that had just walked in. In the door was an older man with a giant bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Excuse me,” he politely said when no one said anything to him. “I’m looking for Miss Sophie Scott.”

“That would be me,” Sophie spoke after a few seconds. She smiled as she got down from the barstool. She straightened her dress and walked towards the man. Expectantly she held out her hand to for the flowers. She ignored Kat’s mutter of “He’s calling it off.” She didn’t want to believe that Tom would be bailing on her at the last moment.

The man didn’t make any motion to hand over the bouquet, but he did smile after Sophie had introduced herself. “Nice to meet you, miss Scott,” the man replied. He shook the hand she was still holding out. “I am Colin; I am your driver for today.”

“My… my driver?” Sophie asked in surprise. Her hand fell back down to her side, the man still holding the bouquet. She wondered what on earth she had agreed to do with Tom tonight. When she glanced out the window, she saw there was a shining black Audi with tinted windows parked right outside the door. The sight did nothing to ease her nerves.

The man was oblivious to the questions swirling in her mind. . “Yes, your driver, miss,” he replied with his smile still firmly in place. “Mr. Hiddleston apologizes for not being here right now. He made me assure to tell you that he’ll meet you soon. He hopes.” It was then that he suddenly seemed to remember the flowers. He quickly extended his arms to hand them over. “Oh, and he asked me to give you these,” he added as an afterthought.

Sophie stared at the man. She hadn’t been sure what to expect. But she certainly hadn’t expected a driver and a car way fancier than she was used to. Once again Tom had managed to leave her speechless, this time without even being around. 

Kat on the other hand, was anything but speechless. She had gasped at the mention of a driver. But when Sophie accepted the flowers, she proved that she still very well knew how to use her vocal cords. “What a beautiful bouquet!” she all but chirped. “I would almost think Mr. Hiddleston has to make up for something,” she commented from behind the counter. Sophie could tell she made an effort not to seem impressed by the gesture at all.

Sophie shot a tight smile at the man in front of her. “One minute, please,” she asked of him. Without waiting for his response, she turned around and strutted to the counter. “Shut the fuck up!” she hissed towards Kat. Trying to avoid a scene, she made an effort to keep her voice low. 

As always, Kat was quick to take a hint. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she admitted in a hush whisper. “I shouldn’t have said that. I…” She hesitated for a moment, sighed and then continued, “Look, here’s the thing. I don’t like Tom, but I know you do. No matter what I tell you. So just don’t mind what I’m talking about. At least not tonight. Just go and have fun, we can talk about this some other time.”

She visibly relaxed when Sophie shot her a bright smile. “I’ll prove you wrong one day, Kat. You’ll have to take back everything you ever said about him,” Sophie warned her in a teasing tone. “But you are right, that’s for some other time. Tonight I’m just going out and going to have fun.” 

Before saying another word, Sophie stepped behind the counter and hugged her friend tightly. “Thanks again for keeping an eye on things. You are the best. I don’t know what I would do without you!” she whispered for only Kat to hear.

Another few teasing words from Kat followed, but then Sophie stepped out of the hug. She walked to the driver and with a wave in Kat’s direction, she finally followed the man out of the shop. Off to god knows where.

Sophie was silent in the car. There were a million thoughts swirling through her mind, ranging from ‘Am I doing the right thing?’ to ‘I wonder where he is taking me.’ She was lost in her own world, not paying attention to anything or anyone around her. It was for that reason that she realized too late that the driver was talking to her. “I’m sorry, Colin, what were you saying?”

There was a clear hint of amusement present in Colin’s voice when he repeated, “I asked if you are excited for tonight, miss?”

Sophie hesitated for a moment. Because yes, she was excited to see Tom again. But she was also incredibly nervous and worried about what was ahead of her. So instead of laying her cards out in the open, she opted for a questioning, “Uhm… should I be?”

When she met Colin’s gaze in the rearview mirror, she saw the amusement earlier in his voice was also present in her eyes. With a small smile, he calmly asked her, “You have no idea what is going on, do you?”

The laugh that escaped Sophie’s lips was a nervous one. “Not really, no,” she admitted. “I thought we were in a fight. But then I came home last night to find this dress. And a note asking to meet him today,” she explained the big lines of how she had ended up in the backseat of this car. She looked at Colin for a few seconds, trying to figure him out. Then she risked asking, “You can’t tell me more by any chance?”

It were Colin’s lips the laugh escaped from now. Unlike Sophie’s earlier, it sounded warm and happy. “I could, but I don’t think Mr. Hiddleston would be pleased with that,” he said with a grin.

Sophie nodded in understanding. A small smile was playing around her lips now. She decided that she quite liked Colin. She didn’t ask any further and for a while, the car ride continued in silence. 

Sophie had always enjoyed driving around London. Traffic was always slow, but to her that was the charm of it. Lazily driving around the bustling city, where there was always something to see. And she enjoyed it even more on nights like tonight. Nights when she wasn’t behind the wheel. Not having to pay attention to the cars around her gave hear all the more chances to enjoy her surroundings. 

It calmed her down, being able to gaze around London. She slowly felt her nerves about what was ahead disappear. She was able to relax, if only for a few moments. The smile on her face grew while her eyes wandered over the passing sidewalks. She watched hipsters with too big headphones pass businesswomen in their pencil skirts. Men with a briefcase in one hand and a latte in the other walked out of Starbucks while groups of friends entered the Mc Donalds next door. 

Her eyes darted over the sidewalks until the car reached the busy junction at Piccadilly. It had become a habit when she passed there, she would always glance up at the advertisements. Especially in the dark, there was something magical about the illuminated signs. 

That evening the usual signs shone brightly, but that wasn’t what attracted Sophie’s attention. She gasped as her eyes fell upon a large movie poster that appeared to have temporarily taken the place of the Mc Donalds sign. She barely managed to catch the event and the date before the car started moving again and rounded the corner. The Avengers: Back With A Vengeance World Premier at Odeon Leicester Square. 05.08.2016. 

It couldn’t be, now could it? Leaning forward until she was on the edge of her seat, she asked, “Colin, what is the date today?”

“It’s August 5th, miss Sophie.”

Leaning back into her seat, Sophie’s mind went in overtime. August 5th. It was the same date she had seen on the poster. And she knew Tom had been working on another Avengers movie. He had been over the moon when he had gotten the offer. He had called her and gushed about how awesome it was going to be for hours. 

But he hadn’t told her anything about the premier. It couldn’t be tonight, he would have told her. “I must have seen the date wrong,” she muttered to herself. She was so lost in her thoughts that she completely missed the way Colin stared at her in the rearview mirror. A knowing smile was edged on his face.

As they moved along through the city, Sophie realized she hadn’t seen the date wrong. She paid attention now to the route they were taking. They were driving in the direction of Leicester Square. And now that she had seen the first one, the posters seemed to be spread all over town and Sophie wondered how she could have not noticed. She needed to get out more. 

The closer they got, the busier traffic. By the time they were in the long line of cars lined up towards the entrance of the cinema, Sophie’s heart was pounding in her throat. She felt nerves rushing, making her feel a bit sick. She wondered why on earth she was here.

Colin seemed to sense her nervousness. Without Sophie having to ask, he started talking to her in a quick stream of words. “I’ll be driving you up to the end of the red carpet. A doorman will be waiting to open the door and help you out. He will be on the right side, make sure you are already there.” His advice stopped for a few seconds while Sophie scrambled over to the right side of the car. He watched her in the rearview mirror and continued with a smile when she was seated on the correct side. “There will be lots of photographers, so expect a surge of light flashes as soon as you get out. Once they realize you are not famous they will stop caring and save their pictures for the next person that arrives. Take that opportunity to start walking. Just walk and smile. Mr. Hiddleston will already be out there somewhere. I know he asked Luke to keep an eye out for you, so you shouldn’t be alone for long.”

“Thanks, Colin,” Sophie told him. She was genuinely thankful. Her nerves were nowhere near gone, but she felt a bit less agitated when the car pulled to stop at the end of the red carpet. She took a deep breath, steadied herself to get out when Colin said, “Oh, and Miss Sophie?” 

She whirled her head around to see that for the first time since they stepped in the car, the man wasn’t looking at her via the rearview mirror. He was turned in his seat as he told her, “Most important of all: enjoy your evening!”

The words were exactly what Sophie needed to hear in that moment. A smile was present on her face when she was helped out of the car and the cameras started flashing. It went exactly as Colin had predicted. As soon as the flashing slowed down enough for her to make out what was in front of her, Sophie started walking. All the while keeping an eye out for Tom. 

She could pinpoint the exact moment Tom noticed her. It was as if he felt her presence, her eyes burning holes in his back. Before Luke even had a chance to acknowledge her presence, let alone he had told Tom she had arrived. He turned around and his gaze seemed to be pulled towards Sophie. 

The look on Tom’s face made Sophie forget any nervousness she ever had. His smile didn’t falter, even though he looked stunned at the sight before him. He didn’t even bother to hide that he looked her up and down, but he had the decency to blush when he realized he was caught. When Sophie returned the smile he gave her, she felt proud that his eyes lit up further. She knew that he was in his natural habitat here and it made her feel good that the sight of her made him even happier than he already was. 

Luke came over then, leaning close to tell Tom something. Tom nodded his confirmation with a smile, but his eyes never left Sophie. And hers were still glued on him. They stood there for what felt like hours, just staring at each other. In reality it was only seconds later that Tom broke their stare. Sophie watched how he turned to the interviewer he had just been talking to. Even from afar, she could tell that he was apologizing for leaving him so soon. The interviewer nodded in what seemed like affirmation and waved Tom’s apologies away. 

Tom barely seemed to register the interviewer’s motions though. It felt like all he had eyes for was Sophie. It made her a bit uneasy. She was used to being the center of Tom’s attention, but that was because it was always just the two for them. Back in the car, when she had realized where they were going, the thought had of course crossed her mind. And she had realized the last time she had been in public with Tom had been years and years ago, back in Banbury. Far away from the flashes and cameras that registered Tom’s every move as he strode over to her. She didn’t understand why this was happening now. But her heart had jumped excitedly at the thought that Tom was staking her out somewhere public. Finally showing her his world.

Tall and long-legged as he was, it only took Tom a few steps to reach Sophie. She looked up to meet his eyes and realized that there was something in there that she hadn’t seen from him in a very long time. Again something he seemed to have left in Banbury when he had visited with Emma. Doubt. Although there was a smile on his face, Sophie could tell he was hesitating, unsure of how to proceed next. 

They stood there for a few moments and then Tom seemed to snap out of his thoughts. He took one more step towards Sophie and engulfed her in his arms. Sophie was quick to copy his movements, put her arms around his shoulders as tightly as she could. “Thank you, thank you so much for being here,” Tom whispered. He had to speak close to be understandable above all the noise around them and his breath was hot on her ear. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“Oh, don’t thank me yet!” Sophie warned Tom as they stepped back out of their embrace. Her words caused him to raise an eyebrow in question. “Well, just because I came doesn’t mean I’m the good girl tonight. I might still cause a scene. Or is that why you wanted me to come here? You think that because there are lots of cameras and photographers around I wouldn’t dare to make a scene?”

The words could have sounded like a threat, but they didn’t. There was no venom behind them. Tom’s smile didn’t even falter. He replied, “I know you better than that, a crowd would never stop you if you wanted to hurt me.”

“Then why am I here, Tom? It’s not that I don’t appreciate the dress and all, but I honestly don’t get it.” She had some idea, she hoped to know why. But she needed to hear the confirmation from Tom’s mouth

“But I do get you,” Tom explained. “I brought you here tonight because I understand, my darling Sophie. I’ve gone over our last conversation time and again and then it hit me. You were hurt because we spend all our time in your world. Hidden in your apartment, while tabloids spot me out and about with other people all the time.” Sophie didn’t miss how he avoided the word women, using people instead. But he understood and he was apologizing, so she wasn’t about to complain. “And you had every right to be hurt, because I was being plain stupid. So I figured that it was high time to turn the tables. To introduce my world to you. And to introduce you to the world, because I have been keeping you to myself for far too long.”

When Tom stopped to take a breath, Sophie tried to speak. But before she got a word out, Tom grabbed her hand in both of his. “I’m so glad you came. I truly am sorry for what happened before. And for not realizing sooner what an idiot I was. You were right of course. I…”

Sophie used her free hand, the one that wasn’t captive in Tom’s, to put a finger on his lips. It did the trick and caused him to stop midsentence. “I know you hate me interrupting you,” Sophie told him. She did her best to ignore the blush that appeared on his cheeks. The memory of the words he had thrown at her that night clearly made him uncomfortable. “But I’m going to do it anyway, otherwise we’ll be here all night. It’s… Well, it’s not okay. Not yet. But we are not going to talk about that tonight. I would have liked to talk to you, but that’s clearly not what tonight is about. Tonight is about you and your return to the Marvel Universe. And I am just here to be your supportive friend.”

Tom stared at her and Sophie figured that for once she had left him speechless. However, as soon as her finger had left his lips, he was talking again. “But you were right. And I was stupid. You mean so much more to me than…”

Another finger on his lips and he fell silent again. Only this time Sophie wasn’t sure she was interrupting him for the same reason as before. Nerves had pulled together in the pit of her stomach as he had started that last sentence. If he was going to say what she thought he would, here was not the place and time. She desperately wanted to hear the end of his sentence, but not in the middle of a red carpet surrounded by cameras. So instead of letting him finish the sentence, she told him in a warning tone, “Tom! Your supportive friend, okay?”

Of course, Tom wouldn’t be Tom if he didn’t at least try to have the last word in their conversation. “My supportive best friend,” he insisted. Sophie could see in his eyes that he was not happy with the wording, but he was willing to go with it for now.

“Whatever you say, Tom. Whatever you say.”

Sophie’s response was enough to keep him silent for now. All he did in response was grin widely at her. He was positively beaming now and Sophie couldn’t help but feel happy she had this effect on him. 

The next moment, Tom had taken her hand into his and dragged her over to Luke. Sophie tried to concentrate as she was introduced to Tom’s publicist. She had heard a lot about the guy, but never met him. He was part of this other world that Tom had kept her out for so long. 

Now that she finally stood before Luke, she did her best to pay attention and to be polite and friendly. She knew Tom cared about Luke a lot and that his opinion mattered to him. She wanted to make a good first impression. Yet she couldn’t help but let her mind slip back to moments ago, when she had interrupted Tom the last time. 

Even though not the whole sentence had made it past Tom’s lips, the words that did ring loud and clear in Sophie’s mind. In her head she cursed herself as they distracted her and she had to ask Luke to repeat what he had been saying. She molded the words over and over again, but she didn’t dare to let herself hope that the sentence would finish the way she desired. Not after everything. So instead of worrying about it any longer, she decided to store the words away for a later conversation. ‘To be discussed,’ she thought to herself as she stood next to Luke to watch Tom finish his interviews.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for another update. Feelings are finally revealed. With a guest appearance by the always funny Alan Carr.

The premier ended up being wonderful. It took Sophie a while to get used to the constant flashing around them, but with Tom by her side, she calmed down rather quickly. After watching the movie Tom took her to the after party. It went on longer than it probably should have, but both of them had too much fun to leave early. It was such a pleasure for Sophie to finally meet all those people that Tom had worked with for months and called his friends. And it was such a pleasure for Tom to finally introduce those people to the girl he always seemed to be talking about. Even though he had never told her that.

Getting out of bed wasn’t a top priority on Sophie’s list the next day. But Tom had asked her to go with him to some press appointments. He had claimed that these things were always boring and her presence would be a welcome distraction. As usual, she couldn’t refuse Tom anything. And that’s why she had managed to drag herself out of bed early. Why she had survived a day filled with interviews and now found herself front row in the audience of Chatty Man, the Alan Carr show.

She was glad that she had accepted Tom’s invitation. The day itself hadn’t been particularly interesting, with the same questions over and over again. She still couldn’t understand how Tom had managed to keep smiling through it all. But it was a welcome distraction to watch Tom work. To see him swoon every woman he met of her feet and make every guy feel like they were best bros. It had stopped her mind from wondering to Tom’s words from last night. 

They hadn’t had time to talk about it. Sophie still had no idea where this left them. Or where Tom wanted them to be. She almost regretted not talking to Tom about it last night, but at the same time she was glad it hadn’t come up again yet. Because despite the way it had sounded and despite the fact that she claimed to know Tom inside out, she still had no idea how he felt. The more she thought about it, the more she doubted his feelings. And she was scared that maybe he didn’t feel as strongly about her as she felt about him. That she would stay behind heartbroken.

So she was definitely glad that it had been a busy day with lots of distractions. And although the day had been long, it was definitely worth it in the end. Because being at the Chanel 4 studios for the taping of Chatty Man felt like a dream come true. She had gotten a chance to talk to James Cordon backstage. He was one of the few guys in showbiz whose career she had actually followed more or less. He was just as charming as he appeared on screen. She had briefly spoken to Joan Collins, which still felt surreal.

And now she was sitting in the audience, in the front row, watching as Tom came sauntering down the stairs after Alan introduced him. The crowd went wild and Sophie couldn’t hide a big smile as she cheered along with them. 

Tom was still his charming self. He still laughed and seemed to enjoy himself and still talked about the movie enthusiastically. Even after such a long day. 

Alan seemed interested in the movie. He questioned Tom about the plot and fished for spoilers. And of course had to mention the premier that took place the night before. “So, we need to talk about last night,” he started out.

“Ah, yes, we should,” Tom agreed. “It was such a fun night. It’s always a blast to hang out with this cast. We really had a great time at the premier!”

“Yeah, it seemed like a great event,” Alan admitted. He turned towards the audience when continuing, “I wouldn’t know of course, since I wasn’t invited.”

“You weren’t invited? Why not? A terrible mistake must have happened!” Tom played along, feigning being horrified at Alan’s revelation.

As always, Alan’s response came quickly. “I know!” He exclaimed. “Though it might have something to do with the after party of the first Thor premier. I kept asking Chris Hemsworth to show me his ‘hammer’. Complete with air quotes.”

Tom threw his head back in laughter, before agreeing in a mocking tone, “Yeah, Chris is annoyed quite quickly. Not a good sport at all.” It earned him loud laughter from the audience.

“But anyway, judging on the pictures it did seem like you had a lot of fun last night.” Alan all of a sudden seemed to be serious again, but Sophie didn’t miss the mischievous glimmer that was present in his eyes. She curiously waited to see what he had up his sleeve.

“We have some of those pictures to show, in case anybody watching lives under a rock and missed them in the newspapers today.” The crowd cheered again as Alan turned away from them, focusing on the TV screen on his right. “Let’s see what we got. Ah, here’s a picture of you on the red carpet, posing for the cameras. I loved that suit by the way!”

“Thank you! That’s all Luke’s work though. He’s my publicist and he likes to double as my stylist. So he usually takes care of that stuff. He has a much better sense of fashion then I do. If it was up to me I’d show up in jeans and shirt. Or sweatpants.”

“Well, thank you Luke! Or maybe not, because I’m sure you would still look good in those sweatpants. But anyway, moving on. Here’s you goofing off with Chris Hemsworth.”

The TV screen had switched to showing a picture of Tom dangling from Chris Hemsworth’s shoulder. His limbs seemed to be all over the place and yet he looked like he was having the time of his life. “Yeah more the other way around,” Tom responded with a smile. “Because this is all Chris’s doing, I didn’t have a say in the matter. But I will tell you,” he said as he bent closer towards Alan, as if he was going to tell a secret. “Chris’ shoulder isn’t the worst place in the world to be on. I have been in much worse situations.”

Alan’s signature high-pitched giggles filled the room. “I’ll gladly believe that!” He gave the audience a chance to join in the laughter. Then waited for the noise to calm down again before continuing, “We have one more photo before I let you go. Because we need to talk about this.”

The TV screen changed again. Sophie felt her mouth fall open, while the rest of the audience gasped and oeh’ed around her. 

“Like I said, we definitely need to talk about this. Because you do realize that millions of girls felt their heart break when they saw this photograph, right?” Alan exclaimed while everybody stared at the TV screen. It showed another picture of the red carpet last night. A picture of Tom and Sophie together. It had been taken after Tom finished his interviews and the photographers had kept calling for one more picture please. Tom had agreed politely and had pulled Sophie in the frame before she could object. They were both smiling at the cameras, but Sophie didn’t miss the nervous look in her eyes. She also noticed the proud look that was on Tom’s face, as if he was showing her off to the world. And then there was the obvious arm firmly around her waist.

“So, tell us everything!” Alan continued. “Who is she? Where did you meet? How long have you been going out and how did you manage to hide this beauty for so long? We want to know it all!”

Al of a sudden the crowd was quiet again. It was obvious they all wanted to know what Tom had to say about this mystery girl. Quietly Sophie sank down deeper in her chair ad she heard the murmurs behind her. Whispers of ‘she’s so lucky’ and ‘I wish I was in her place’ reached her ears.

Tom was silent for a moment. Sophie could tell he was looking for what his next words would be. Eventually he smiled and said, “She’s my best friend.”

“Wait, your best friend as in your best friend who can call in the middle of the night if you want to talk? Or your best friend who you wake up next to every morning?”

“The… The first one,” Tom explained. His smile was still in place, but Sophie noticed how the tips of his ears had suddenly gone red. It meant he was nervous, it meant he was not telling everything. And as much as it made her sit up just a little straighter again, she hoped Alan wouldn’t pick up on it.

To her relief, he didn’t. He continued, “Ah, so you aren’t dating her then? She’s just the girl every potential girlfriend gets mirrored to.” Alan said it with a wave of his hand, as if it had suddenly occurred to him that was the most obvious thing in the world.

Tom relaxed again and his signature laugh filled the studio again. “Yeah, I guess that’s how you could put it.”

Alan had been smiling, but all of a sudden looked serious when he stared Tom in the eye during his next question. “So, why aren’t you dating?” he wanted to know. “You look lovely together!”

“I… Uhm, well…” Tom flushed at the directness of Alan’s question. Sophie could tell it had taken him by surprise. She knew he watched the show whenever he had time and that he liked Alan’s presenting style. But it was obvious he hadn’t expected these kinds of questions when he agreed to do the show. 

It took him a moment, but he managed to regain his composure. With a simple shrug of the shoulder, he tried to play it off with, “She deserves better than me.”

The words caused Sophie to let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding in. Luckily, her gasp was drowned in the sound of Alan’s voice, who loudly disagreed with Tom. “Excuse me? Did she say that, that she deserves better than you? Who in their right mind would say such a thing? Come, look at you!” Alan gestured in Tom’s direction, trying to add power to his words.

“No, no, she didn’t say that!” Tom was also gesturing now, quickly moving his hands in a signal of denial. “I know she would never say such a thing. But I’m saying it: She deserves better than me. I- No, let me finish my explanation, Alan.”

Tom was talking now. And he wasn’t having any of Alan’s efforts to try and interrupt him. It surprised Sophie. She was so used to him being in control of his emotions. He only rambled this nervously on two occasions. When it was something he was really enthusiastic about or something that he had bottled up inside for a long time. Sophie knew this case was definitely the latter. But she hoped for a bit of both. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to handle otherwise. So she curiously listened to what else he had to say on the subject.

“She deserves better than me. You may not believe me, but she should. Because she is wonderful. She is strong and determined. She’s intelligent. She makes the best cupcakes in the world; I can never get enough of those. She knows how to hold up a conversation, which in my opinion is one of the sexiest things in the world. She has an amazing sarcastic sense of humor. She is beautiful, of course. She’s…” Tom let out a heavy sigh and Sophie could almost feel his internal struggle. It was as if he only just realized that he was in a TV studio with a couple hundred people hanging on his every word.

Eventually he seemed to realize that he had said too much already to back down now. Too brief to notice for anyone that wasn’t paying close attention, his eyes flickered to Sophie. Then his attention went to Alan again. It was enough for Sophie to turn even redder and bit her lip in anticipation of what he had to say next.

Another sigh, and then he continued. “She’s truly an amazing person. And she deserves someone who is clever enough to realize that from the start and act on it. Not someone who keeps pushing her away because he is afraid of the what ifs. She deserves someone who wants to show her off to the rest of the world. Not one who wants to keep her hidden because he is afraid that someone else might snatch her away. Not someone who has deep down known this all along, but feared that he might lose her if he admitted that.”

Years later people would compare this moment to Tom Cruise’s couch-jumping moment on Oprah. Similar, but sweeter, they would say. Because for once, the entire audience was completely silent. It was obvious they weren’t sure how to react to Tom’s confession.

The mood in the studio could have turned from exhilarating to awkward really fast. But Alan's impeccable comedic timing saved the day. He just turned his chair towards the audience again, put his hand beside his mouth as if it would make Tom unable to see what he was saying. Then he stage-whispered, “Tom Hiddleston is describing his ideal woman. You better be taking notes, ladies!”

The mood in the studio immediately lightened again as the crowd started laughing. Sophie, however, wasn’t listening anymore. All she could hear was the sound of her heartbeat that has just tripled in speed. All she could think of were Tom’s words. On repeat in her head.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. The final chapter.  
> It's crazy how this tiny little idea that started over two years ago grew to 29k of THiddy. I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> I want to take this opportunity to thank all the lovely readers of this story. Thanks for all the kudos, the bookmarks and the comments. Special shout out for Kittenwithawhip and Cabin6girl for their lovely comments!  
> Also, a little bit of self-promotion: for everybody interested in Tom Hiddleston, please go check out my other story featuring Tom, it's entitled I'd Give Up Forever To Touch You. Comments would be greatly appreciated on that one as well!  
> But first, read on and enjoy this final chapter!

By the end of the show Sophie had barely registered anything the other guests had said. For the most part she had been sitting there, staring off into the distance, lost in her own thoughts. Busy avoiding Tom’s gaze when he walked off stage and she knew his eyes were searching hers.

The audience was almost completely cleared out when someone from production came over to her. She was still sitting in her chair in front of the stage. She got politely asked to leave the studio, adding that of course she was more than welcome to join Alan and his guests backstage again.

By the time Sophie found her way to the backstage again, she had made up her mind. She had made a decision, one that she thought Tom would and hoped be quite happy with.

The door of Tom’s dressing room was still wide open. When she walked through it she found him sitting with his back to the door. He didn’t move upon her entrance and she realized he had not heard her come in. She waited in silence for a few moments, but Tom didn’t move. He continued to stare off into space. So she decided to break the silence. “So tell me, should I find it romantic or not, a public declaration of love?” she asked out loud.

The moment the first words drifted through the air, Tom’s eyes shot up. He stared at her via the mirror and for one short moment, Sophie thought he was going to turn around immediately and hug her. But the small smile playing on her face at the thought disappeared as soon as her eyes met his. They were full of worry. And his words didn’t make her feel any better. “I… I didn’t mean to say it,” Tom told her.

The words were coated in honesty, Sophie could tell. It felt like a splash of ice water had hit her square in the face. She stared at Tom for a moment. When it was clear that he wasn’t going to say anything anymore, her heart sank. She blinked away the tears that were forming in her eyes, refusing to let him see he hurt her. Again. 

In a desperate attempt, she questioned, “You know you were on national TV, right? You can’t take it back now.” Even to her own ears, the words sounded like they were coming from a hopeless fool. Just a hoarse whisper as they left her lips, barely audible through the tears she was choking back. 

But of course Tom heard them. He always heard her. Sophie jumped slightly as the chair he had been sitting on scraped over the floor as it was pushed aside. It took Tom two strides to end up right in front of her. And then one of his hands grabbed her, while the other caressed her cheek. His thumb wiped away the lone tear that had managed to escape down her cheek. 

And when he talked, his words came out a whisper too. Barely audible to anyone else, but loud and clear for Sophie. “I know that. And God, that sounded horribly wrong! You always do that to me, you know that?” The corners of Tom’s mouth crept up a bit as his hand applied a light pressure on Sophie chin. It forced her to look up at him and meet his gaze. “I take pride in the fact that I am usually very well-spoken and eloquent. Yet when I’m around you I tend to turn into a babbling mess. One look, one word and you leave me unsure of what to say next. And when it matters most I seem to be at a loss of words around you. Or I say the wrong thing. Like right now. Because what I meant to say was that I meant to tell you, I did. I just didn’t mean to do it so publically. I know you don’t like being put on the spot like that. I’m sorry. I’m sorry if it bugged you. I-”

Just like at the premiere the night before, Sophie silenced Tom with a simple finger on his lips. “Stop,” she warned him in a firm tone. Because he was talking again, rambling just like he always did when he got nervous or insecure. When she made him nervous, apparently. And when he got doubts about something he had done. And Sophie wasn’t having any of that today. So she told him to stop.

And Tom stopped talking mid sentence. He stared at her in surprise. The memory of their fight in her bedroom nights ago flashed through her head. And for a moment Sophie thought he was going to scold her for interrupting him yet again. He didn’t. Instead, he offered a not so eloquent, “What?”

Sophie smiled. It made her proud that she made him feel this way. At a loss for words. And before he got a chance to find his tongue again, she explained to him, “I don’t mind that you declared your love for me on national TV, Tom. The only way I would mind is if you would take it back now.” She stopped for a moment, giving Tom the chance to offer her a light shake of his head. He didn’t intend to take it back. “Good. Because let me declare something in return. I love you, Thomas William Hiddleston. I love you too. I always did, since that very first time you stayed in Banbury. I just never admitted it, because I thought you didn’t see me that way. And I thought I’d rather have you in my life as a friend, perhaps happy with another girl, than not have you in it at all. But I was wrong! I don’t want you to be happy with another girl. I want you to be happy with me, Tom. I want you. So please, stop apologizing. For once don’t be the perfect British gentleman and don’t worry about distance and age and being daft. Just go for it.”

By the time Sophie finished her last sentence, she was a bit out of breath. But she didn’t get a chance to catch her breath, because Tom was more than willing to fulfill her request. Without another word, he gently pushed his lips against hers. He finally kissed her again and it felt just as good as that first time all those years ago. Perhaps even better, as now Sophie could clearly feel the love behind it. 

When they broke apart again, Sophie realized they were on the chair Tom had been on when she walked in. She was in his lap and she had no idea how they ended up in this position, but she wasn’t complaining. She just grinned as they both tried to catch their breath. Breathtaking. It was only now she understood the meaning of the word.

“You know,” Tom started out after a few moments of silence. Sophie looked at him. She did her best to focus on what he was saying and not the way his thumbs were slowly rubbing circles on her hips. “If you would have let me finish some conversation a while ago, this could have happened earlier.”

Sophie frowned in response. She played conversations through her head, but she couldn’t figure out what he was getting at. “What do you mean?” she questioned him.

“Our fight a couple of days ago. Before you kicked me out, I told you that Jane was just a friend. I tried to tell you that she knew I had my heart set on someone else. That’s what I tried to say before you interrupted me once again. It kind of felt like when I visited Banbury with Benedict all over again. You really need to learn not to draw premature conclusions.” Tom explained to her.

A bit embarrassed, Sophie looked down at her fingers in her lap. Tom was right of course. Trying to hide the blush on her cheeks, she made an effort to divert the subject of the conversation away from her. “Way to kill the mood, talking about one of your female friends.”

Tom didn’t get mad, he wasn’t annoyed by her words. He just smiled at her, not taking the bate. “A friend, Soph. That is all she is. And I will never put her before you,” he promised her. He hooked a finger under her chin to lift it up and force her to look at him again, before he added, “My love.” As to prove a point, he then went on to kiss her again.

“If you treat your best friend that way, we should totally become besties ASAP!” 

Alan ruined the moment as soon as he walked through the door of Tom’s dressing room. But Sophie just giggled when Tom and her broke apart. She wasn’t agitated by the interruption, she wasn’t annoyed at Alan. She even laughed along with him. Because she knew that this was just the beginning and there were many more kisses to come. She knew that here in Tom’s arms, this was the start of a new chapter in her life. And she was looking forward to diving right into it.


End file.
